It was as if every year of recorded porn history—which began when I launched this site in 2005—had been leading to this: 2011 ends with dozens of porn movies celebrating prostitutes in all their multifaceted glory.
It is a point of pride, as you well know, among women who receive money to have sex on film that they are not prostitutes.
“Prostitutes,” they will say, “only receive money to have sex. They lack the skills to film it simultaneously.”
It’s also worth noting that prostitution is illegal in California. But if a dick happens to fall in your mouth and then, falling out of your mouth, ejaculate all over your face while you are acting in a movie, then it is not prostitution but something approaching the Meisner Technique but with improvisations on sperm placement:
“The face?”
“New Choice.”
“The neck?”
“New Choice.”
“That little hole where the epidural didn’t heal?”
“Go with it.”
Nevertheless, The Porno Industrial Complex turned its viscous focus on prostitution in all its forms this year in a signature quartet of films, demonstrating the beautiful diversity of the sex worker arts and demonstrating an industry-wide willingness to explore the hard-to-fathom prostitute psyche with a zeal not evident since the days of the great Cable Guy, Pool Cleaner, and Pizza Delivery Man character studies.
Prostitute as Work in Progress
Jessie Andrews stars in one of my favorite films of the year, which draws a straight line between prostitution and growing up in the high desert with Eric Swiss as your stepdad.
Brunette Prostitute as Heedless Homewrecking Con Artist Who Reveals Blonde Wife To Be Unnecessarily Jealous of Essentially Wholesome, Fun-Loving, and Hardworking Husband
- “Escort“
Digital Playground’s Kayden Kross hires prostie Selena Rose to seduce her husband Tommy Gunn, but it is the paranoid Kross whose distrust of her noble husband is punished by the expert sociopathy of the spunky whore.
Brunette Prostitute as Heedless Homewrecking Con Artist Who Reveals Blonde Wife To Be Unnecessarily Jealous of Essentially Wholesome, Fun-Loving, and Hardworking Husband
Wicked’s Stormy Daniels hires prostie Andy San Dimas to seduce her husband Marcus London, but it is the paranoid Daniels whose distrust of her noble husband is punished by the expert sociopathy of the spunky whore
What I find fascinating about these two movies, released within a week of each other, is that Tommy Gunn and Marcus London are housemates; do you suppose they ever compared notes about the identical roles they were playing in identical movies?
Also, while the boxcover of Digital Playground’s movie is vague as to who the title character is, Wicked’s boxcover made me think Stormy was the escort, which I thought might hurt her next bid for elected office.
Prostitute As Woman Who Has Sex for Money And Wonders Why She Showed Up in A Compilation Called “My Wife Is A Prostitute”
Sure, this compilation of scenes directed by Jim Powers begins with Audrey Hollander tearfully submitting to a blowbang to take care of her husband’s debt, but the rest of the scenes in the movie fail to connect “wives” and “prostitutes” and, indeed, to whom the “My” refers in a classic and heartwarming example of pornic Ha Ha, You Already Bought the Movie, Dumbass that I feel is perfectly emblematic of my experiences with hookers.
While I am truly saddened that there were no movies featuring The Hooker with a Heart of Gold (I would cast Julia Ann), at least there weren’t any intentional depictions of Crack Whores.
Finally, the axis upon which the porn world turns:
Prostitute Who Needs To Be Saved
Jessie Andrews plays Iris opposite Tommy Pistol’s Travis Bickle in a faithful porn adaptation of the Martin Scorsese classic. The “Captain Save-A-Ho” archetype that is so plentiful in strip clubs and certain booths at Porn Star Karaoke is well-represented by Bickle as he slowly goes unhinged, and serves as a reminder that if the Hos wanted saving, they’d’ve done it themselves already, Thank you, Creep.
Prostitute As Charlie Sheen Prop
One great thing about porn is that, even if porn itself isn’t particularly well-paying, even a brief porn career can exponentially raise one’s asking price in the lucrative worlds of non-porn prostitution and feature dancing.
With the possible exception of Bree Olson, the porn girls whom Charlie Sheen employed never cashed in so handily in porn as they did when Sheen, having seen them in porn films, requested them for multi-thousand-dollar Vegas flings. If anyone was winning, it was them.
(As always, I am indebted to Hollie Stevens for her EveryWhore photo.)
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Bree Olson—life imitates porn; The further pimping of Kacey Jordan; Jessie Andrews—her own skin; Hollie Stevens—Whore
Jessie Andrews kinda makes me want to give in to any Captain Save-A-Ho tendencies I may harbor.
Also, as someone who apparently studied Meisner, you can imagine how that makes me consider applying what I learned in old Script Analysis classes to porn film:
“You want me to come on that pretty little face?!?”
“Yes, come on my face, baby! Come on my face!”
[CRUX!]
“Aaaaaghhhhghhhhh!”
[Denouement…]
Yes. But you must ignore them, for they will only lead to tears.