Used to be you’d know a porn performer by his tiny head or by the way she’d reflexively cringe when you approached her, but no more. Now they look just like you.
Or so say organizers of January’s Adult Entertainment Expo, where for the first time fans will perform on a stage at the rear of the cavernous Sands Expo Center to the delight and/or befuddlement of other fans, who will then be cast into a chasm of Doubt: “If everyone is an adult performer,” they’ll think, “why did I just spend six grand on Sunny Lane at the Bunny Ranch?”
AEE fan contests will include a worldwide search for the fan with the “hottest ass,” present mothers and fathers with the “hottest MILF” and “hottest FILF” titles, and select the “hottest fan” from the audience. Other FyreTV stage contests will award the fan who fakes the sexiest orgasm, wins the wet t-shirt contest, and skillfully pole dance. Couples can participate and compete against other couples in the Valhalla Vacation Club Game Show. Prizes will include exotic vacations to world famous resorts in the Caribbean and Mexico, a FyreTV set top box with free minutes, a complimentary evening at the Sapphire Gentlemen’s Club with limousine service, and cash prizes.
I’m really looking forward to the Most Beloved Porn Journalist contest.
In addition to the fan contests there will be readings by the Punany Poets (featuring Vanessa Blue), Harmony Films’ Golden Ticket Giveaway (for AVN Awards tickets at a table with Bobbi Starr), and an intriguing “How to Shoot A Porno” demonstration that seems like it will be about 15 minutes too long.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Apple to leave MacWorld for Adult Entertainment Expo; AVN 2008 – reliving the dream
See also: Full stage schedule
Leave a Reply