A quote in a recent press release made me suspicious that Lisa Ann might be an Immortal, prone to lopping off the heads of her rivals in white-hot parking lot showdowns.
The occasion was Teravision’s American MILF 2: Enter the Cougar, in which director Evan Seinfeld/Spyder Jonez says of Lisa Ann, “She is perhaps the ultimate American MILF.”
(I believe he tented his fingers when he said this, and was wearing sunglasses inside.)
“The ultimate American MILF”: Could it be that there can be only one?
I know what you’re thinking: “Grams, if what you’re proposing is true, then Lisa Ann might not have been born in Pennsylvania in 1972 but instead might be hundreds of years old, facing the biggest challenge of her life. Will she rise to the challenge or will her head be taken?”
According to the press release, the movie is full of blistering trysts, or blysts, the renewed sexual energy of Lisa Ann who, at 36, appears to have been on the threshold of the nunnery until she lubed herself back up again, informative factoids like “cougars need more meat” and “there is no substitute for sexperience,” and Tera Patrick’s observation that “Spyder has accurately portrayed the heart of the sexual animal that beats inside of every cougar.”
What the hell: you can read the press release for yourself.
( VAN NUYS, CA ) Just when you thought it was safe for young guys to roam the street, Spyder Jonez brings you American MILF 2 Enter the Cougar. These seasoned sexual superstars are back with a vengeance in this highly charged sex comedy from Teravision.
“For the first American MILF we got adult legend Teri Weigel,” adds director Spyder Jonez. “After the huge success we had with that movie we figured we would stack the cast with legendary performers like Julia Ann, Lisa Ann, Shyla LaVeaux and more. One red-hot cougar was fantastic so imagine the absolute sexual mayhem created when five of them get together.”
Lisa Ann takes the lead in American MILF 2. From here smoldering oral opener with Cheyne Collins to her blistering tryst with AVN Performer of the Year James Deen, she proves that she still has plenty left in her tank.
“Lisa Ann is hotter than ever,” states Jonez. “We have captured her renewed sexual energy in this movie and got her hottest scenes ever. She is perhaps the ultimate American MILF.”
Not to be outdone, Julia Ann takes an epic ride in a limo with Sean Michaels. With her engines fully revved she takes an even hotter ride on his massive black pole. Cougars need more meat and Julia gets all she can handle in this smoking interracial romp.
Sexy cougar Raquel Devine is so hot that it takes two young studs to give her what her body craves. Austyn Kincaid and Shyla LaVeux prefer to share the young meat so they double up on Cheyne Collins in another stunning three-way.
Harnessing all of the sexual energy these white-hot cougars have amassed during their careers, Jonez brings Julia Ann, Lisa Ann, Raquel Devine, Shayla LaVeaux and Austyn Kincaid together for a final five-girl lesbian orgy that will blow the doors off.
“We knew we needed something big to close the movie,” Spyder says. “And what better what to cap a movie like this than a big cougar orgy. I have been on set for many all-girl orgies, but there is obviously no substitute for sexperience.”
Teravision President Tera Patrick is impressed. “We have all seen MILF and cougar porn before, but nothing like this. Spyder has accurately portrayed the heart of the sexual animal that beats inside of every cougar.”
I don’t know about you, but on the strength of this press release I’d buy the movie twice.
Watch American MILF 2: Enter the Cougar now
Buy American MILF 2: Enter the Cougar now
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Nailin’ Paylin for America; AVN ’09 in pictures
See also: Teravision
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