“A Day in the Life”: Danny D. comes at least 3,979 short of 4,000 holes

Aleska Diamond, Danny D., and Megan Coxxx

Earnest, charming, but modest Danny D. fucks British and continental pornstresses in a rented house somewhere in the United Kingdom. And we say Good for Him. He’s a nice bloke who loves his lager, his Queen, and (‘m just assuming) the reboot of “Dr. Who.”

Studio: Harmony Films
Director: Stevie O.
Starring: Danny D., Aleska Diamond, Megan Coxxx, Angel Rivas, Misha, Caprice Jane, Avril Sun, Ferrara Gomez, Kai Taylor

This is a perfectly good porn film save for the fact that it is not titled to sell.

My world is insular; the only women I know who watch porn are the ones making it. But it is a marketing fact that straight men do not buy straight porn films to see the guys. So if women won’t buy the movie, and men won’t buy the movie, that means no one will get to watch Mr. D. nearly choke Megan Coxxx and Aleska Diamond in the routine act of receiving a blowjob.

If this movie had been called “Choice London Slags,” “Thames the Gapes,” or “Dr. Who,” it would have a fighting chance, especially since it’s worth watching: who doesn’t feel the vicarious thrill of being discovered just knowing the performers are in England and in very real danger of being busted in on by bobbies with torches and hauled away in a bobbylorry?

And the first thing those bobbys would do is ask Aleska Diamond and Megan Coxxx why they’re still wearing clothes halfway through their scene. There’s a fire in the fireplace, for Christ’s sake; it’s not like it’s cold.

Later, we watch Danny pick up a hitchhiker whilst driving a vehicle on the right side of the road. Hey. Wait a minute. Is it still the same DAY in his LIFE? At the very least it’s the next day. Then he teams up with another fellow to service a woman in the bathtub (this scene is my favorite as it made me wonder what excuse each of them made to be in the bathroom at the same time).

Finally D. lets loose on two Eurovixens in a club. The movie ends without D. giving a valedictory speech, so we feel incomplete and unshepherded.

Were this a late-nite cable show with viewers given the opportunity to watch the affable Danny D. in the business of one day (which would certainly include a porn scene and all the requisite heating up of the female talent), that is a movie I can imagine weary business travelers would rent in their hotel rooms.

But the “Day in the Life” motif broke down after the first scene and, by the end, Danny D. wasn’t even the star of his own movie.

And I did some counting: If there were three 2-girl scenes and two single-girl scenes, and each girl used her mouth, vagina, and ass (sometimes I don’t pay attention to what side of the perineum the players are on), that’s 21 holes Danny D. availed himself of in “A Day in the Life.”

That might fall short of the holes they found in Blackburn, Lancashire, but D. is indeed a lucky man who made the grade.

Buy “A Day in the Life of Danny D.” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: The American Spirit of Megan Coxxx; Both ends of Syren Sexton burning; “Malice in La La Land”
See also: Harmony Films

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