A Sex Poem for the Chosen

Let me be your Shabbos Goy
And I’ll plug in your new nJoy
Or we don’t even need a toy—
I’ll do you with my digits

When all of your atoning’s done
We’ll have some Jew-on-Gentile fun
I’ll wait until the set of Sun
To spank your ass to fidgets

You’re toppermost among the Chosen
So this One Question I am posin’
Where’d I hide the afikomen?
(Hint: It’s near my zipper)

When you feel Messiah’s lack
Or a spiritual Scud attack
We’ll keep it kosher, front to back
And win one for Yom Kippur

I will not know friend from foe
When you leaven up my dough
And make me let my people go
Our covenant consummate

We’ll do it by Mosaic Law
I’ll grab your ass and bone your jaw
And now, my little Semite squaw:
Go get your Muslim roommate

(Thanks to Joanna Angel, who once told me she wanted to win an AVN Award for “Best Jew,” and to Casey Calvert, whose pictures I use every time Something Jewish Happens.)

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Shall I eat a peach? or: The Love Song of Mandingo