You know how every company and its mother is having a contest now? I think Acid Rain should sponsor a contest that will award the winner one of those 400-disc DVD changers along with all 10 of its 20-hour, four-disc compilation DVDs.
The compilations have been culled from Acid Rain’s archives, which rival those of the doomed library of Alexandria. Over the next few months, the porn-starved consumer will have his choice of Babes in Teenland, Young Girls Do, It’s a Black Thang, Anal Mania, Oh its So Big, Before They Were Stars, Melon Mania, Muff to Muff, Me So Horny, and Sexstravaganza (which, I’m assuming, is a compilation containing scenes in which people have sex with one another).
This reminds me of the sequence in Leaving Las Vegas when Nicolas Cage stocks up on the alcohol that will eventually kill him. If you wanted to watch nothing but porn for over a week, continuously, and then document your decline, the compilation route would be the perfect way to do it.
The only thing I’ve ever done for 200 hours straight is watch the Jennifer Connelly ass-to-ass scene in Requiem for a Dream; the writing was so goddamn good.
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