The big parties were this weekend, so tonight I’ll be handing out hermetically-sealed baglets of candy corn to children and Lethal Hardcore titles to their dads. Gram Ponante Towers is very popular in the neighborhood.
I didn’t make any of the porn parties this weekend, but it didn’t matter. Halloween is Amateur Porn Night, anyway. Not to be all Pornblography about it, but I was at a party on the other side of the hill and had this conversation:
Woman in stripper costume: So, what do you do?
Me: Among other things, I am America’s Porn Journalist.
Woman: What?
Me: I write about porn.
Woman: Oh my God.
Me: What do you do? Are you a healthcare provider?
Woman: What? No. You hang around with porn people? That’s gross. I’m in payroll.
Me: Why is it gross? (She works for the payroll company SAG and AFTRA are currently suing for misappropriation of funds).
Woman: I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.
Me: Why? Are you cold?
Woman’s friend (wearing bondage outfit): The girls only do that stuff because they’re crackheads.
Me: Some are crackheads.
Guy: You should read his site. Pomegranate, right? Pomegranate.com?
Me: No.
Woman: You make a living at this?
Me: Yes.
Guy: Do you fuck them?
Woman’s friend: Gross!
Me: Mmmmm.
Woman: How is what they do different from prostitution?
Me: It isn’t, except it’s safer.
Woman: … just a bunch of fucking prostitutes.
The woman got madder and madder. I usually don’t bring up what I do in mixed company because I’d really rather drink and eat chips. Later she and I bonded over a disputed Jagermeister recipe. Later still she and her friend made out for jello shots and a Playstation game.
OH! Gram, I love candy corn (and those little pumpkins). I’d happily take any left overs you’ve got. 🙂
Here in America there is a variation on candy corn (yellow orange white) called Indian corn (brown dark orange white). Do you have Voyageurs corn in Canadia?
I hate the general public but maybe they learned
hmm if we make out we get a playstation if we fuck we can get a car!!!
i know you implied that but I felt the need to stste it.
No…I’ve never seen Indian Corn, even on my sojourns to The Land Of The Free.
Is Voyageur Corn a regional thing? (like salt & vinegar chips)