Exxotica Miami, which in the past three years has grown to be the East Coast’s biggest adult consumer show, next month features Amy Fisher hosting “The Search for South Florida’s Hottest MILF.”
And the contest is on Mother’s Day, May 10.
I know of no other way for Dade County’s moms to show their devotion to their children than by proving to the men who impregnated them that they are still desirable to porn fans who paid upwards of $35 a day to hoot at them.
Imagine the joy on the faces of her brood when Mom comes home, glistening with sweat and melon body spray, covered with paw prints, and clutching a voucher for a trip to Jamaica.
“You’re leaving us again, Mom?” they weep.
“Mommy only looks this good when she stays far away from you,” she’ll say tenderly.
Amy Fisher, who has played both Lolita and MILF roles, joins fellow Milves Jesse Jane, Savanna Samson, Teagan Presley, and Eva Angelina at the event, as well as Ron Jeremy, Stoya, Jenna Haze, Sasha Grey, Kayden Kross, Bree Olson, and the Wicked Girls, as well as Florida’s Own Sunny Lane.
The weekend also features the return of 2 Live Crew, who once uttered the immortal words:
That Dick!
Is a motherfucker
I won’t get pussy-whipped by a dick-sucker
That Dick!
Is a greedy bitch’s dinner
I let a bitch feed before I go up in her.
Exxotica Miami runs from May 8th through May 10th.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: A clockwork tradeshow; Amy Fisher – it’s not personal; 2 Live Crew’s Luke quits music
See also: Amy Fisher, Exxxotica Miami
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