“I don’t do relationships,” says 24-year-old Aria Austin following her first (filmed) gangbang. “Which is probably best right now.”
Earlier that day Austin (who’s from Austin!!), wearing a skimpy French Maid’s outfit (and is “French Maid” ever not accompanied by the word “skimpy”?), enters a room whilst languidly swinging a dust brush. Then she notices a big, bare mattress in the middle of the room. On that mattress is a dildo, so she uses it. Then Leya Falcon comes in and fucks her. Then Leya Falcon leaves (this is all just like a dream I had), then five guys fuck Aria.
And you know what? None of those things was remotely interesting to me.
Following the last eye-aimed cumshot, though, Austin wraps herself in a towel and, still in her socks, gives a charming interview to director Mike Quasar in which we get to hear her great Texas drawl and learn that she recently came to California after failing sex rehab.
“Yeah, I fucked my therapist,” she says. “I kinda persuaded him.”
“We should make a whole other movie,” Quasar says.
YES, YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE. That’s the movie that needs to be made.
Buy “My First Gangbang 3” here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Sabrina’s Deep-Thinking BigTop Gangbang
See also: Zero Tolerance
Here’s a concept, too: instead of calling it “My First Gangbang 3,” which on the surface doesn’t quite make sense (see also Final Fantasy 2 through 15), we call it “Aria Austin: My First Gangbang” or even “My First Gangbang: Aria Austin edition” hence preserving the grouping of the product line in any alphabetical listing by title.
Excellent idea. And it gives the proceedings a certain MAJESTY.