I really don’t know why All Media Play keeps me on their mailing list. I’ve asked to be removed. Still, someone must be buying these movies (I just haven’t met any of them) and I like the idea of there being some all-purpose anti-defamation league out there, because why should Jews get to keep it for themselves?

Both for Easter Monday and April Fools, I’m reminded of “Malice in La La Land” starring Sasha Grey, one of many high-minded and big-budget independent productions that occasionally sweep through Porn Valley and are rarely heard from again.

Do you root for Dana DeArmond? I root for Dana DeArmond.

Hair-carpeted and randy, Reems could have been the face of the carefree 70′s

“It would be pretty cool to chance upon Kimberly Kane in the neighborhood just walking her dog in that urbane floor-length getup of hers,” I thought. “Oh wait—I’m doing that right now.”

I have turned the paradigm of the gluttonous BBW on its head with this poignant and revealing photograph.

People talk behind Sinn Sage’s back a lot, and it’s all nice things. It might have something to do with the quality of her back.

“I have a small mouth,” says Alex Chance, “but I use my hands a lot.”

The makeup-free photographs alternately reveal the bottomless personality of the performer unaffected by makeup or the role of cosmetics in the way we experience porn stars who would be unrecognizable to us without them.

“It stands to reason that if there is a movie called ‘The True History of She-Male Cock’ that there have been false histories,” says historian Doris Kearns Goodwin

…Similarly, the low-wage stripper “house girl” need only land a few porn movies before she can return in triumph to her old club as a bona fide feature dancer, then have her shoes stolen.

“It says that the only way to keep Interstellar Beings from entering our skulls is to wear hats if you are female or sunglasses if you are male,” Siffredi said. “And you see, I have already purchased sunglasses.”

I’m always sad when the new “Performers of the Year” rolls out. Even though Lexi Belle and Asa Akira carried over from “Performers of the Year 2012,” it makes me wonder if Kagney Linn Karter, Kristina Rose, Jayden Jaymes, and Gracie Glam are on a junk heap somewhere being crushed into cubes.

I ask Bang to stand over her and look menacing, but it doesn’t work. He just looks kind of happy.