Baker’s Dozen #5

Studio: Platinum X
Director: Brandon Iron
Cast: Alektra, Delilah Strong, Chrissy Katrice, Natalie Knoxxx, Mandingo (and 64 sperm donors)

Offstage Voice: Are you ready for The Dozen?
Alektra: Bring ’em on!

It would require actual research and scholarship on my part to make sure, but I am guessing that the Baker’s Dozen series has always featured a starlet getting ready for a 12 person-bukkake by starting off slow, just fucking one person and giving him her undivided attention. This installment starts with Alektra, who is one of my favorite people simply because she doesn’t wear high heels.

Alektra’s scene is in a delightful T-roofed chalet, bringing the point home once again that I need to make more money. As the anonymous bukkakistos arrive for their big break, it is slightly distracting to see guys whose turn hasn’t come up yet vaguely masturbating in the near distance, as I imagine the office workers in the complex next to mine are doing when I view my weekly porn review copies.

Watching bukkake videos always creates in the viewer a sense of distraction, so I found myself monitoring a particularly busy guy in the background of Alektra’s scene who would occasionally slap her ass or move the couch. I hope he got paid more.

Similarly distracting is any scene with Mandingo. Delilah Strong might be a size 18 in real life (she isn’t-she can fit on a postage stamp), but Mandingo looks like he’s performing a spinal transplant on her, by way of her perineum. The normal size envy that sometimes torments viewers of full-on porn stars goes right out the window when Mandingo is in a scene, because I, for one, just think “he looks like he was created in a weapons lab.”

One of the interesting aspects of the Baker’s Dozen series is the reveal, when the camera pulls back or goes to the side and the audience is confronted with six guys here or 12 guys there who are working themselves up. In Strong’s case, some came in theough the hallway and some were waiting out on the patio. I assume that in earlier incarnations of the series there were introductions all around, but the evolution of the line requires the girl to just get right into it, which Delilah does.

One necessity of bukkake videos is that the talent be game. Both Alektra and Strong look like fun girls who just happened to have a bukkake happen to them (although Strong and Chrissy Katrice break the ancient bukkake code by actually getting fucked by a couple of their 12, thus dishonoring the tradition and their ancestors). Katrice, who enters her scene at a crawl, looks less wholesome than her two predecessors, and gives a performance that might be more appealing to fans who prefer their talent looking a little more oblivious.

Also included on this disc is a scrapped scene with Natalie Knoxxx, who showed up in Porn Valley and just as quickly disappeared. She looked like she was making some serious decisions as the cum began to fly faceward, and Baker’s Dozen #5 is as good a record as any of why some people are made for porn and others aren’t.