“Kinky Sex” party or: Bring me the Ass of Lori Alexia

I went to the Simon Wolf Kinky Sex party last night and I must tell you that the Rokbar kicks fucking ass. Excellent music and great video projections. I fear, though, that Tommy Lee’s establishment is not the type of place someone like me would be able to get in unless I was already on the list. I should go back on another night and just grease the bouncers with a box of porn.

My Hedda Hopper writing experiment on Fleshbot is linked here (btw, I’ll be Guest Editor there the week of August 15 and I’m going to need a LOT of material to work with), but I wanted to share one thing with you personally, my devoted and unnaturally attractive readers, and that is this:

Lori Alexia. Jesus H. Christ, Chiefy. I’m so glad North Carolina bred something better than AsiansOnBlondes.

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Simon Wolf, so enigmatic that he doesn’t appear in corporeal form [sources say he is a Ringwraith], will be hosting a party on Thursday night to support his new film, Kinky Sex, at Tommy Lee’s Rokbar in Hollywood. Doors open at 10.

Here is my Tommy Lee impression:

“Oh Pamela. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh Pamela.”

There is something comforting about a video line being called Kinky Sex. That is a term suburban housewives and wannabe swinger dads used in the early 80?s to describe all manner of perversions, such as non-missionary positions or calling your partner by another name, like “Senator.”

Kinky Sex conjures up a time when we would try to get scrambled TV signals from Montreal before we fooled our parents into getting Cinemax. According to the boxcover, there is a whole realm where kinky sex happens and where people tape their nipples and stuff.

On hand at Thursday’s soiree will be several pornish celebrities and stars of the film. I won’t say who because I always end up getting burned by statements like that. And, as you know, I am very sensitive.

Party organizers suggest, and I wholeheartedly agree, that the ratio of women to men be very high. This works out well for everyone involved, because an excess of women can always make out with each other.