Britney Rears 2: It Has Begun

You broke my heart, Britney
You broke my heart, Britney
The long national nightmare has ended, and Britney Rears has returned.

It’s important at times like this to remember that we live in the greatest country in the world and that, as Americans, the benefits will never end.

Britney Rears was once Jessica Sweet, and Jessica Sweet was once someone else, and that someone else once worked at a tanning booth or somesuch in Sherman Oaks.

Until she met an enigmatic Svengali named Will Rider.

Now look what has happened. And it can happen to you, if you’ll just believe.

Believe, damn you.

(Believe.)

Britney Rears 2: I Wanna Get Laid stars Rears, Jenaveve Jolie, Eva Angelina, and Sunny Lane. It will be released on April 11.

See also: All Media Play

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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