While it continues to be frowned on in schools, spanking is alive and well among cleavage-sporting women.
Iconic pornstress Brittany Andrews recently spanked Rick’s Cabaret stripper Kelsey in what appears to have been a consensual agreement.
Andrews was in town because New York City is a popular destination for business and tourism. Stopping in at the Empire State Building-adjacent peelerie, Andrews encountered Kelsey, who was wearing a lacy red number, and spanked her.
But while criminologists point to the lack of marks on Kelsey as an impediment to Andrews’ prosecution, noted parapsychologist Gram Ponante concluded that Andrews was a vampire or other manifestation of the Unknown.
“Andrews was a masterful woman in life,” Ponante says. “Surely she’d leave marks on the taut but yielding ass of Kelsey, whose face is never shown in the photographs. Therefore Andrews must be some kind of she-demon, Q.E.D.”
According to a press release distributed by Rick’s Cabaret, all parties knew exactly what they were doing and do not intend to file charges. Only Andrews appeared slightly disoriented, needing to be reminded where she was.
Porn Legend Brittany Andrews Shares Special Moment with Rick’s Cabaret Girl
Porn star legend Brittany Andrews, who was featured in the book Confessions of the Hundred Hottest Porn Stars by Lainie Speiser, recently partied at Rick’s Cabaret New York, where she was surrounded by beautiful Rick’s Cabaret Girls. “The girls here are so hot, with such juicy tushies,” said Brittany. “I couldn’t resist giving one of them a little lesson in the gentle art of sensual spanking. All in good fun, of course!”
Brittany chose lucky Rick’s Cabaret Girl Kelsey, a raven-haired cutie, for the hands-on demonstration. “There was something about the shape of her tush that made it perfect,” said Brittany. “She’s bubbly and beautiful.”
“Brittany is so sexy,” explained Kelsey. “It was an honor to be spanked by her. I’ve seen so many of her movies. She’s super talented and she’s got it all — great boobs, great butt — and she’s beautiful.”
“It was really something having Brittany here,” said Rick’s Cabaret Girl Janine, a 33D-24-34 brunette. “While she was fooling around with Kelsey, businessmen in suits actually stood up and cheered. She really knows how to put on a show. It was awesome! We even had a few famous baseball players, whose names I won’t mention, cheering her on.”
“I would love to have gotten spanked by Brittany,” said Rick’s Cabaret Girl Kelly, a 36C-25-36 redhead. “I’m sorry I missed that, but I did get the chance to give Brittany a tour of the club. She’s so cool. I took her up on the roof deck and she asked me what that tall building was across the street. ‘Don’t be silly,’ I said. ‘It’s the Empire State Building.’ She loved it. It was a great night, too. All the stars were shining. Just like Brittany.”
RICK’S CABARET
50 West 33rd Street
New York City*** 3 Floors of Luxury
***Over 100 Dancers Daily
***Full Steakhouse Menu
***Private VIP Suites
***Roof Deck Smoking Lounge
I would love to be given a skyline tour of New York by a stripper on a roofdeck. “All the stars are out, Grams,” she’d say, pointing out the Chrysler Building replica in my pants. “Just like you.” After that, we would descend through Rick’s three floors of luxury, past the steady stream of 100 dancers daily, and sample a full steakhouse menu.
But I wouldn’t be coy about the baseball players like those discreet press release strippers were. I’d be like “Manny Ramirez, you fucking let us down, you dick.”
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: “Sex & The City” And Cougars: Oh My; Report: Despite hoopla, Gram not looking at the feet
See also: Ricks
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