50 Shades Times 140: A Kinky Tweet Contest
Remember how, fearing Cat Stevens might kill Salman Rushdie, you purchased “The Satanic Verses”? Or that trip you took to recover Skylab souvenirs in Australia, […]
contest
Tori Black: You Is My Plumber Now
“Ass-Out-of-Pants is a look perfected by plumbers, of course, but anyone can do it,” says GramPonante.com valet Loup Perch-Tounge. “The idea is to maintain plausible deniability. ‘Has my ass fallen out of my pants? Oh, I see it has.'”
The Bad Porn Contest | July: “Suicide” is not painless
The Suicide Girls don’t wanna be buried in the Pet Sematary, so I’d like to send them to you.
Beverly Hills’ power of positive thinking
Perhaps people need an obstacle to keep them focused, because it’s amazing how eloquent some women can get with a cock in their mouths.
The Bad Porn Contest: April
I will send you both “The Senator’s Daughter” and (what I consider) a good movie if you …
Degenerates invited to become pornographers in San Francisco
As with all of San Francisco’s public functions, the Independent Erotic Film Festival will feature plenty of attendant drag queens, live sex shows, raunchy music, free-flowing alcohol, visiting porn stars, and debauchery.
“Listen up, Douche-ass”: Rating the “Jersey Shore” porn parodies
“I’m gonna put my fuckin’ babies in your troat.”
Dana DeArmond bowls through the pain
DeArmond’s dainty wrists were almost no match for the bowling ball. “But I’m still great at handjobs,” she said.
Finish this sentence: The sex-slicked torso of Holly Wellin…
Why don’t these devoted shadow readers submit answers for the chance at fabulous prizes? I thought.
Because they are more excited by the unknown, I sagely answered.
Call for suggestions: Presenter etiquette at the XBiz Awards
I will be presenting the Best Actress trophy at this year’s XBiz Awards, but I am unsure of how I should comport myself.
The Ropey Volley Awards: Gram’s Dirty Dozen of 2009
In a very real way, all porn is good. But the following titles were better.
Belladonna and Kimberly Kane throw a snow ball for AIM
There are few people more exciting to think of having a date with than Belladonna and Kimberly Kane (well, I would have liked to go […]
Kane Sugar
It turns out the best porn parody wasn’t even funny, that Tori Black talks in a nice, low register when you’re fucking her in the […]
Anjanette Astoria: I had the time of my life – twice
As much as the importance of words can’t be overstated, the non-verbal communication between Anjanette Astoria and Johnny Castle on the set of “Cougars in […]
Getting Corky with Gianna
Where I come from (GPS coordinates: 30.4813°N 89.7690°W), if you call someone thick, you are calling her retarded. And while having sex with the mentally […]
Couch mit Vaginabilder und Gesäß
My German isn’t that great, but I wanted to let you know that the couch is itself a vibrating ass and pussy. See also: I’ll […]
Don’t do the talkin’ if you don’t grok the gokkun
You want my copy of “American Gokkun 9,” starring Amy Starz and Kylee Luvit? It can do one of two things to your life: change […]
Chloe Kez and the understandable devolution of propriety
19-year-old Chloe Kez. a nanny and housecleaner from Baltimore, applied to Vivid’s “Brand New Faces” outreach program and shot her first porn scene for the […]
Crack Whore Confessions now available from Samuel French
A while ago I watched the movie Crack Whore Confessions 3 and I have been haunted, I tell you, by the imagery. Scroll down to […]
All your base are on Faith Leon’s face
The winner of the “What Is Faith Leon thinking?” contest is a person called “Neckties for Reptiles,” who, on further research, has a very thoughtful […]