Fap 5 Friday: April 3
“…suggests a world in which on any given night there are more than a hundred transsexuals willing to babysit your child.”
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Assed from the Past: Fap 5 Friday
Gamelink.com presents the FAP FIVE WEEKLY COUNTDOWN! This week is very exciting as we have tales of pimping out our wives, a couple of movies […]
Fap 5 Friday: Irish Curse Edition (March 20)
For the past several months I have been doing this little job of work for Playboy in which I take the five top-selling movies for […]
Porn Box Prophecies — 2015
The year’s first porn delivery tells the future.
Anal Mining: What To Expect When We “Drill Her Ass”
Is there gold in them thar asses?
Today in Porn Swag: Two Cups, “9 1/2 Weeks”
Useful promotional materials reflect well on the product.
A “Lesbian Fetish Show” that Won’t Freak Out Straight Men
Sasha Heart shows us that lesbians aren’t just thinking about pet rescue anymore.
Mia Malkova Restores Our Faith in Love, Heights, Sandwiches, And Clean Laundry
Mia Malkova is not some wizened strip of sex jerky, walking amongst the cranes and helipads of Downtown L.A. in director Mason’s “Erotica X.” In fact, had she skipped lunch, she might have blown right off the roof.
Natasha Nice Is What Lindsey Lohan Should Have Been
Somewhere after “Mean Girls,” Lindsey Lohan became porny in affectation without showing the skin to back it up. Then all the curves melted away in a haboob of cocaine. Finally, by “The Canyons,” we kind of didn’t want to see her naked anymore. Natasha Nice reminds us of all that promise, and delivers in a crazy joyride of flesh and drama.
Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner: “She’s Come Undone”
Wouldn’t it be great if a pornographer were brave enough to name her movie after a Guess Who song? Dana Vespoli is that pornographer.
Today in Ridiculous Porn Movies: I Know What You Did Last “Summer Lovin'”
If this town had a Wicker Man, “Summer Lovin'” would have been a way better movie.
A Visit to Mamiru’s Forbidden Vagina
So many things to see in Japan, but a vagina in porn isn’t one of them
Finally, A “Foot Prints” That Isn’t That Goddamned Inspirational Poster
“Then why was there only one set of footprints?”
“Because I was fucking you.”
Nadine Sage is not just some pubic hair, damn it
In which I use the term “bulbourethral.”
Dani Daniels: It’s Like She’s Florence Nightingale or Something
Nurse Dani Daniels is an angel of mercy to a man who accidentally ingested his uncle’s boner pills. Gram Ponante (America’s Beloved Porn Journalist) says it happens more often than you’d think.
Fuck Thunderdome: Bonnie Rotten Is “Beyond Fucked”
Bonnie Rotten plays a sex-and-apocalypse-wizened bounty hunter in the movie Tommy Pistol was born to make.
It Makes You Wonder How Quickly Jennifer White Went through the Old Black Stepdaddy
“I love the way my black stepdaddy comes inside my tight little pussy,” White says to no one in particular.
A Man Needs A “Maid To Order” or: A Tree Grows in Belle Noire
These maids more than compensate for their half-assed attention to detail with their whole asses.
Mia Malkova: Carcharadon Carcharias
“You’re killing me,” Manuel Ferrara says to the great white Mia Malkova. “You’re like a shark.”
How Does Being A Jukebox Hero Relate to Miami Milves? Well, It Doesn’t
Quick Summary: In this scene from “My Girlfriend’s Hot Mom 4,” there is neither a girlfriend nor is the woman getting fucked a mom. So the movie should be called “4.” Like the Foreigner Album.