I have seen Hustler’s “Busty Beauties: Top Shelf Titties” and I think it’s a winner, but Damn: If I didn’t get it for free, the whole Student Loan infrastructure would turn over in its grave if I shelled out cash for pornography with a spelling error on it.

There may be those who disagree with my calling Alexis Texas zaftig, as if I’m trying to call her fat, but I’m not. Zaftig means juicy, goddammit, and Texas is juicy.

Points added that the Fonz shows up? Yes. And that he makes a Jump the Shark reference? Sure. But to what end?

“Don’t take your cues from porn,” says Lexi Belle as she rests her high heels on his back

This movie delivers exactly what the title promises

This year the porn world tackled the issue of prostitution in several thought-provoking films

If you wonder how porn movies that are less-than-slam dunks make money, join the club.

“We all get fucked for money one way or the other, right?”

Bruce was a vile fellow who
Kept for a wife his left shoe
He’d slowly unlace her
Thern wildly debase her
And then stomp around in his goo.

I defy you to tell me why switching the boxcovers of “Gangbang Extreme Teens” and “Fuck the Babysitter” would make a damn bit of difference.

Audrey Hollander is having sex for money legally by playing someone having sex for money illegally.

One reason Belladonna is so beloved is that she drives to you

Suspend your disbelief for a moment and try to imagine a world in which prostitutes can be unethical

Chaos + nudity = a great porn movie

In “Hollywood Sex Wars” like Charlie Sheen, I’m not sure what winning is supposed to look like

For reasons unexplained aside from the fact that she is impossibly hot and can do whatever crosses her mind, sassy Brit Ashley decides to go to America to find a husband.

I would be happy to impregnate Lisa Ann for a modest fee so that her next MILF movie is an honest one.

The gauntlet has been thrown down: like the sleeping menace that was Germany in the early 1930s, floppy cocks are a thing.

“I don’t want you to be a porn girl,” Bobbi Starr says to Sparky SinClaire. “I want you to be a real girl.”

You’d think that, facing extinction, humanity wouldn’t bother with condoms.