Columbia Journalism Review addresses porn megaconglomerates

With today’s announcement that Magna Publishing, parent company of furtive, raincoat-wearing gentlemen’s magazine Genesis, has purchased bestubbled, bathrobe-wearing gentlemen’s magazine Gallery, media watchers are concerned that a large segment of print medium porn consumers will no longer be represented at the corner, cheap cigar-smelling news stand.

“This happened in 1994 when Sexonaut merged with Clam,” said Columbia Journalism Review manging editor Darren Perch-Tounge, “and suddenly a whole generation of gentlemen who smelled like their dogs and day-old despair was voiceless.

“Notice the number agreement of ‘generation’ and ‘was’,” Perch-Tounge added. “That’s the difference between us and the Middlesex Community College Journalism Review.”

As in the world of mainstream media mergers and acquisitions, today’s announcement by Magna Publishing, which also purchased the magazines and websites related to Fox and Lollypops, sent ripples of concern through populations fearing they will be underserved by the new monopoly.

“Mmmmm. Pussy,” one vagrant said.

“The vagrant is right,” Perch-Tounge agreed. “What does a celebrity publisher like Tera Patrick (Genesis) or Stormy Daniels (Velvet) know about the needs of the average Gallery reader who just wants to masturbate to pictures of Oklahoma housewives?”

Perch-Tounge noted that the decline of the DVD and the increase in oil prices are only going to make mergers more common in the coming months.

“You need trucks to drive those magazines to the nation’s 7-11s and Store 24s,” he said. “And when Rupert Murdoch buys AVN and XBiz next week, there goes the audience for interpretive DVD sales charts.”

Previously: Report: Stormy Daniels appears on magazine cover; Tera Patrick: The new black
See also: Genesis Online, The Gallery of Forgotten Girlie Magazines

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