“Coming Out Kinky” When You’ve Had Some Time To Think About It

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Is kinky a sexual orientation? Were kinky people Born That Way or was it a choice? Performer Jean Franzblau can only speak for herself as she preps her autobiographical solo show, “Coming Out Kinky.”

Franzblau, an actress and work/life coach, started crossing items off her “sexual bucket list” eight years ago at the demise of an unfulfilling relationship.

“A friend I met on Craigslist told me he had visited a BDSM dungeon and was willing to take me,” she says. “I had no idea the rabbit hole would go so deep.”

The porn business is teeming with 19-year-olds whose sexual resumes may be longer than Franzblau’s, but neither do porn starlets stay bright-eyed for very long. Franzblau, on the other hand, is earnest and compelling. One of the stories she tells onstage goes this way:

I met him at coffee shop. He had experience as a dominant, and I was curious to have my first experience as a submissive. He was a sturdy, attractive guy – intense. I was nervous – talking too much and fussing with my cup of tea. He reached behind my head and slowly grabbed a bunch of my hair and held me there. I felt like a bunny, hypnotized – frozen in time and space. He released me without a word. I was panting and blushing. “Would you like to experience a scene with me?” he asked. Hells yes.

We took a walk and negotiated. I found myself eagerly saying yes to things I’d never even considered before. Yes, he can blindfold me. Yes, he can call me whore. He gave me his address with explicit instructions that I should arrive exactly on time. I knocked at the precise moment like the good girl that I am.

"Coming Out Kinky," coming out soon

“Coming Out Kinky,” coming out soon

While the blushing seems innocent despite her years, Franzblau also details the very adult kinky process of negotiating — setting boundaries, establishing mutual consent. It is a very eyes wide open counterpoint to her wide-eyed enthusiasm.

So why a stage show?

“I think the big factor is less about the material and more about me,” Franzblau says. “[But] I certainly didn’t expect for it to be so dang revealing. I found myself to have a deep submissive side that was yowling to be expressed. I couldn’t stop writing about my experiences as they were happening. That means I have incredibly raw material from the very heart of my awakening experience.”

Franzblau employed director Karen Aschenbach to wrap structure around the story, and now Franzblau has mounted a 45-day Indiegogo campaign so that she can do the show justice. Her Indiegogo pitch video very thoughtfully puts into perspective what it costs to stage an independent theatre production in Los Angeles.

“So far I’ve invested about $12,000 in developing the show,” she says. “The campaign goal is to raise funds for the world premiere, a run of five to six weeks. I have a few venues in mind in Santa Monica. Once I have the funds, I’ll pull the trigger and schedule it. My hope is that the show will gain momentum and I’ll be able to share it in different cities or on video or at conventions. My message is sex-positive, and I’ll like to share that message to as many people as crave to hear it. I expect the world premiere to be in the first quarter of 2014.”

I clock out of my various gigs as an adult industry correspondent and am reminded that not everybody — in fact, hardly anyone, statistically — has appeared in the “Dirtpipe Milkshakes” series. Hardly anyone, statistically, fucks for a living. But the great majority of people do not go on quests like the one Franzblau documents in her show. Even porn stars (unless you count Nina Hartley, whose story of a later-than-Barely-Legal sexual awakening shars some plot points with Franzblau), rarely give the ride they’re on much thought.

Which is why a show like “Coming Out Kinky” is so worthwhile.

What do people not know or understand about being kinky?

“In my case, what I wanted to shout from the rooftops is how healing my experience was,” Franzblau says. “I didn’t really even understand what I was healing from, but there was so much energy inside me that was unleashed by this type of sexual expression. I know I’m not deranged nor unique, so I’m assuming that there are many others like me who could benefit from safe, sane consensual play. ‘Coming Out Kinky’ is like a permission slip.”

See also: “Coming Out Kinky

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