Written on June 9, 2012 at 10:00 am by Gram the Man

Dairy Queef: “Milk Nymphos 3″ does a body good

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Nyomi Banxxx and Imani Rose: Baby Got Backtose Tolerant

“Milk Nymphos 3″ is really a movie for the rest of us. It says, “I’ll take your 1 Percent and shoot it out of my ass.”

Studio: Evil Angel
Director: Jay Sin
Starring: Alexis Texas, Sparky Sin Claire, Bobbi Starr, Cherry Torn, Nyomi Banxxx, Ivana Sugar, Kimberly Kane, Tori Lux, Dulsineya, Imani Rose, Lolly Moon, Dana DeArmond, Jennifer Clark, Krissy Lynn, Tara Lynn Foxx

Evil Angel juxtaposes milk—that most American and wholesome of fluids—with dairy queef-inducing enemas in “Milk Nymphos 3,” a movie that I respected so much that I didn’t turn it off.

The original installment of “Milk Nymphos” was a centerpiece in the botched obscenity trial against Evil Angel founder John Stagliano in 2010. Then as now, these images are arresting (but not in an “arrested for obscenity” way) and often beautifully staged, appealing to the very sexual need to put things in and watch things come out of some of our favorite places.

Not that you care, but I’m a big fan of watching (and causing) things going in. I am not so much a fan of things coming back out. Perhaps it is because I am an ARTIST and I only care about creating THE ART and I GIVE BIRTH TO IT and NEVER WANT TO SEE IT AGAIN. (Especially coming out of someone’s ass.)

So that is why I can easily watch the absolutely delicious Sparky Sin Claire and Cherry Torn, both dressed as sexy cats, purring around their bowl of cream, but I must force myself to watch the milk enemas and the resulting milk-queefing.

Ditto the delightful Kimberly Kane and Bobbi Starr, neither of whom are afraid of getting covered in fluids.

“You’re a dairy farmer,” Kane says as Starr causes her to squirt milk from herself.

I understand the appeal of all that white fluid on all that skin—why else do we love the money shot so much?—it’s just the reprocessing and consumption that makes me a little gaggy.

Thus the most beautiful scene of all, in which African-American pornstresses Nyomi Banxxx and Imani Rose dair(y) off against a white backdrop. I watched as they anointed each other with first-hand cream, then knew enough to turn away once it had been internalized and was on the way out.

But at no point in this movie did I feel that the performers shared my hesitance. They didn’t tune out as the milk started flowing downhill; not like me.

You could say there was nothing half & half about them, but that would be RiDQulous.