It goes with the territory that I, as a tall man, am fabulously endowed. I do not lord this over my shorter brethren, nor do I shy away from the awesome responsibility that packing hammers entails.
That is why I take issue with the album cover of the latest release by Cock Goblin, sent to me by a reader who worried that someone might appropriate my idea for Gram Ponante’s Goo Goblins.
I think if my dick were that big I would
1. Not feel the need to put a big ring through it (cock piercings are like little red sportscars).
2. Not let it rest on my filthy mead-hall floor (what if Grendel’s mom came back?)
3. Not keep it close to open flame.
4. BE SMILING ALL THE FUCKING TIME.
If you like nondescript metal as well as druids fighting robots with Little Leaguers, watch the video. One can imagine the release forms the kids’ parents had to sign allowing their offspring to be in the Goblin Cock video.
With band members taking names like “Lord Phallus” and “Bane Ass-Pounder”, however, it is clear that, like Necro, Goblin Cock does not have the subtle sophistication demanded by members of the porn community.
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