Other than “Gape Expectations,” is there any other work of classic literature so porn-ready as “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland”? The narcissism, the holes, the virginal blue dress, Tom Petty?
Later this month, Adult Source Media will release its 3D animated porn “Alice” starring the voice of jessica drake as the titular character. It will be like 2009 all over again, the year in which no fewer than three porn “Alice”s were made.
“Except with animation we’ve got a room full of guys creating the exact type of woman they want,” says Adult Source Media’s W. Crawford. “Our Alice is very breasty.” (Actually, this animated Alice looks a little like Sarah Vandella.)
drake, a Wicked contract star whose name isn’t capitalized on purpose, received special dispensation from Wicked to work for ASM, as Wicked does not do animation and would not be competing with the project (although Stormy Daniels played Alice in the 2009 “Alice” pornossaince).
I meet drake in a comfortable studio in North Hollywood, where she watches an animated version of herself being fucked and ropily jizzed upon a table by a Mad Hatter who looks like Slash, as she records her voiceover.
“This is not new for me,” she says. “I’ve seen myself as a Real Doll. That is freaky. But here I am being fucked on the table with my face in the cake. Not so unusual.”
Get the Flash Player to see this player.Adult Source Media repackages a lot of Japanese porns and flies in English voiceovers. Those are always entertaining. But it is the company’s original work, such as “Pinks,” “Pleasure Island,” and the gay-themed “Pirates’ Booty” that are extra-special, as the male characters have prostates that produce gallons of sperm.
I watch some of it fly for a few seconds on the animated Alice, and we think of Monica Lewinsky.
“Yeah, that’s a lot of sperm getting on me,” notes drake. “That’s why I take off the blue dress.”
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Anus in Wonderland (Aiden Starr is fur-mented); Stormy Daniels wins key endorsement; Is “Alice” the new MILF?; Sasha Grey grooms a rabbit; Today in ejaculating plants; What I learned from hentai; “Pirates’ Booty”
See also: “Alice in Wonderland XXX” official site
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist
“With animation we’ve got a room full of guys creating the exact type of woman they want.”
And that would be… big breasts, Gumby arms, and a congenital birth defect resulting in no right shoulder?
How do you know it’s congenital? And how many times have you been right-shouldered out of the action by a woman with small breasts? I have no idea why you’re complaining.
Is she using the word “bacon” in the traditional sense? Because if so, she’s way cooler than I had anticipated.
Oh Yes: Ms. drake is a real bacon fan. She is beloved in Canada and Hawaii for this.