En La Casa de Mi "El Gordo y La Flaca XXX"

If I lived in a dorm rather than this magma-level bunker 1,000 miles below the Earth’s surface, an informal survey around the dining hall would reveal that The Women of Univision are prime candidates for Porn Valley’s star-making power. Yet, while there are plenty of Spanish speakers in porn (both from Spain, like Marco Banderas and Rita Faltoyano, and Mexico and points south), Big Porno has thus far missed the boat on catering to Spanish speaking fans.

Studio: Dulce Media/Shy Love
Director: Shy Love
Starring: Lisa DeMarco, Bridgette B., Yurizan Beltran, Stevie Shae, Nikki Delano, Anthony De Los Santos, El Gordito, Ricky Anthony, Karlo Karrera, Marco Rivera, Marco Banderas

There are few porn parodies that can hope to match the tone of the original, but Dulce Media’s “El Gordo y La Flaca XXX” captures the spirit of the long-running Univision show perfectly in this first mass-market Spanish language porn.

Like a more salacious Regis and Kathy Lee, El Gordo (“The Fat Man”) is a broadly-drawn clown in both versions. Here played by Anthony De Los Santos, El Gordo fantasizes about Yurizan Beltran (and who doesn’t?) and stares bug-eyed at the package of Bridgette B., who convinces the co-hosts that she is not a transsexual.

What’s great about this movie is that, like “Not Married with Children XXX,” the crossover to a pornier version from the original is pretty seamless. Nikki Delano as Shakira filmed having sex by her duplicitous (American) assistant? That’s exactly the type of stuff the real “El Gordo” would show, albeit with pixelation.

As La Flaca (“the skinny lady”), the underappreciated Lisa DeMarco looks exactly like the sexed-up cougars all over Univision, and she gets her “leche” (Spanish slang for cum) at the end.

Even though some of the movie was lost in translation to me, it was easy to follow, and it also conforms to Porn Valley standards (director Shy Love, after all, is a former performer, and most of the crew are veterans of Hustler features) for the most part; the novelty and necessity of Spanish-language porn was dulled somewhat by the occasional unflattering camera angle that made an otherwise professional production look a little thoughtless.

I hope the market supports several more such foreign language films; it’s good to watch performers for whom Spanish is their native language get a chance to speak it, even if they occasionally say things like “Oh yeah fuck me,” which is universal.