Erotica L.A. 2009 is the new 2002

Erotica L.A. seemed packed the two days I attended, and that is an encouraging – though qualified – sign for Porn Valley’s most precious resource.

The south hall of the L.A. Convention Center had been floorscaped to smaller dimensions than in previous years, so it was hard to move around. Crowds formed around Belladonna, consumers clotted like the pills on those faux-400-threadcount sheets I bought here last year. Visiting news crews, all hoping to catch someone slipping the name of the occasional performer who was diagnosed with HIV last week, saw a hall that seemed packed.

“Everything is not grim with the adult industry in California,” they concluded.

And it’s true. While the THC Expo in the west hall struggled to attract visitors with promises of dog attack demonstrations and t-shirts made of hemp, L.A. Erotica delivered the FAME Awards, the first public appearance of the toothy Rio Valentine, Sinnamon Love falling out of her dress and her trailer, and the debut of Jenna Jameson’s perfume.

There was also the preview of Oh Mi Bod‘s wireless vibrator, allowing you to be the DJ of your partner’s vagina (a company based in New Hampshire, I’ll add, whose lamented Old Man in the Mountain still inspires pornography), the reassuring/creepy return of both Jesus Loves Porn Stars and Escorts for the Disable/d, and new companies like Porn Star Tweet, which aggregates porn performers’ Twitter messages into a convenient stalker portal that somehow makes money. They also hooked a cracker up when he was down on liquid refreshment. It was like New Orleans over there.

It was also a pleasure to see Miss Noname Jane, formerly AVN’s Best New Starlet of 2004, in her first public appearance since getting her new/no name. I sued her out of habit.

How was business? It looked as if many performers were setting up their own booths or selling their wares while signing for other people. Darryl Hanah did this, tactfully explaining that she posed for photos but for a price, the mysterious Egyptian Cleopatra of the Nile sold signed copies of her comic book, and Burning Angel sold DVDs. It was the first year (I believe) that performers were allowed to make sales on the show floor.

The FAME Awards were efficient and uncontroversial. Stormy Daniels hosted and also won Best Boobs (“I feel like I can’t take credit for this,” she said. “All I did was buy them”), Jenna Haze won Dirtiest Girl, Teagan won Best Ass, and Digital Playground won Best Movie for “Pirates II.” I also heard conflicting reports over whether Stoya was in or out of Digital Playground. All I know is that she’s staying with me for a few days and we’re going to go on one of those Bucket List road trips.

Impressive things:

  • Darryl Hanah said that one of the guys touched by last week’s Patient Zero is on her No list anyway.
  • Dane Cross said he approves of every dude on girlfriend Faye Valentine’s Yes list, now that she’s doing guys. “It’s still awkward, though,” he said
  • Lexi Love could fit inside Tera Patrick three times
  • Kagney Linn Karter has always been nice to me; I’m looking forward to getting some drinks in her, though
  • Daisy Marie would be my choice to play Violet Bick in the all-Mexican porn version of “It’s A Wonderful Life” (but Larry Flynt still gets to play Mr. Potter)
  • AVN’s first “consolidated” issue will come out in September
  • Jenna Jameson’s perfume smells like the balled-up Kleenexes old ladies keep in their pocketbooks at church. I wanted it to smell like vanilla strippers
  • Porno Dan said of his friend, “She has the best-tasting pussy. I jerked off in my hand while I was eating her out.” In my mind I wondered why he was telling me this. If there was scar tissue on his brain that made his boundaries amorphous. “That’s very sweet,” I said, and drank some more. We’re both part of the same hypocrisy, Senator
  • Dana Dearmond looks cute in her new braces
  • Kristina Rose is not necessarily a Lakers fan
  • Being greeted by’s talking robot at the door is not an encouraging sign for anyone who remembered how bad “Rocky IV” was
  • Fewer paralytics this year, more fat girls in corsets

  • Riley Steele must just sit in the tub and look at herself. And she probably says “Jesus Christ
  • The carpet in the THC Expo was green
  • I asked Phoenix Marie’s 6’8″ bodyguard when the last time was he had to physically remove someone from a building. He couldn’t think of one time. “Just look at me,” he said
  • Evan Stone is getting the new iPhone on June 19 and giving his current one to his girlfriend
  • I met Dirty Harry for the first time. What an honor
  • If the Pope did porn, His Holiness might call the movie “Papal Syrup”
  • I have a feeling that Sunny Lane is especially good at the Girlfriend Experience


I thought Erotica LA was an excellent example of living within means. It might not have been as crowded with exhibitors and fans as previous years, but it worked well within the limits of the new economy.

  • See my 2009 Erotica-LA gallery here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Erotica LA in review – 2006, 2007, 2008
See also: Erotica LA

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist


  1. This looked so much better then our sexpo that we have here in Melbourne. To see all those porn stars would have been a real treat. I envy you Gram.

  2. I have a feeling that Sunny Lane is especially good at the Girlfriend Experience

    She's a mother, you know…a mother to all those who need love.

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