I have this to say to embattled Democratic Congressman Anthony Weiner of New York: Nice dick, Dumbass. Your sending sexually suggestive pictures to Twitter followers who ratted you out showed almost the same laughably poor judgment as I did when I mistook Hannah Hilton for Savanna Samson.
“All Vivid Girls look the same,” I thought in 2007 (and still think now), and you were probably thinking, “These ladies and I have an agreement. They will be honored by the photos I send to them.”
Porn stars, their representatives, and people hoping to become porn stars with my help send me sexually suggestive and explicit pictures every day. I engage in limited online flirtations and make lewd but intellectually stimulating comments to women I find attractive. My wife, whom I met while we were both working in the adult industry, would have every reason to be upset with me if I fucked anyone else without her permission.
That is our agreement.
The Weiner issue has become a lightning rod for sexual libertarians, who rightly point out that ordinary people do stuff like that every day.
Furthermore, they ask, who are we to cast judgment on whatever agreement Congressman Weiner might have with his own wife, whom he married last year in a ceremony officiated by none other than Bill Clinton?
In her call for an ethics investigation into whether Weiner used government resources to send a picture, via yFrog, of his underwear-clad erect penis, to a 21-year-old Twitter follower, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi seeks to determine if Weiner acted “in a manner that shall reflect creditably on the House.”
Well, of course it doesn’t reflect creditably on the House. Weiner is simply in the wrong job to be doing what he did, and he showed horrible judgment in sending such a private photo to a 21-year-old who [we're not yet sure how the picture came to light] apparently turned around and made it public.
[UPDATE: The original story included the word "blackmail" in reference to the journalist Andrew Breitbart's possession of salacious photos sent by Weiner. I am informed that blackmail is a legal term, and not a general term of art, as I had used it to describe the implied coercion here. I have redacted statements contained in the following paragraph]
Informed that the conservative blogger Andrew Breitbart was in possession of damning images, Weiner, who had previously denied sending photos and claimed his Twitter account had been hacked, Monday revealed that he had had six “inappropriate relationships” with women in the past three years.
Then several thumbnailed pictures from a Yahoo account connected to Weiner were brought to light. Finally, Sirius radio hosts Opie & Anthony quickly snapped a photo of the coup de grace: a tweeted image of Weiner’s erect penis that Breitbart had showed them (and other members of the media) to prove he had the incriminating photographs that he said he did.
Breitbart was clearly echoing Weiner when he accused the DJs of breaching his trust.
Naturally, Weiner considered what he was doing to be private, as did Elliot Spitzer and Bill Clinton. I assume that part of the rage each of these men displayed in their initial denials stemmed from a feeling that their privacy had been violated.
But the common sense taboos each of these men flouted in their assignations—don’t use electronic media, don’t use state funds, don’t use the Oval Office—seem so public that it is as if they wanted to be caught. Who would do such a thing if he didn’t want to be congratulated for it?
It’s when they don’t get congratulated that it becomes a privacy issue.
Doubtless more will emerge from Weinergate. There are already reports of his PR coaching of former porn performer Ginger Lee on their Twitter relationship. There remains the question of what their recipients thought of the Congressman’s thoughtful pictures, and if valuable government broadband resources were used to send them.
Everyone agrees it was a dumbass thing to do. But, depending on what side you’re on, a majority of the American people re-elected a dumbass-in-chief within the last couple of decades, and the country didn’t break.
But “Member of Congress” doesn’t mean the same thing to me anymore, and I guess a little bit of my innocence is gone.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Bad Ass Frank—I’d Prather Not Be Pimpin; Does being a cad affect the ability to lead?; Client 9 and Natalie McLellan—Prostitutes provide great return of investment
See also: Politico—Anthony Weiner coached woman to lie