FBI: Whitey Bulger also had huge porn stash

In a sun-baked Santa Monica apartment, just as in Osama bin Laden’s Abottabad compound, federal fugitive James “Whitey” Bulger occupied his downtime as one of the FBI’s Most Wanted Criminals in nondescript surroundings stuffed with cash, guns, and porn.

“Evidence suggests he liked the pornographic works of New England natives Tyler Faith, Kaylani Lei, and Jean Laconia,” an FBI source said. “Their accents were comforting.”

Bulger, 81, on the lam from the feds for 16 years, was arrested without incident Wednesday, bringing to an end the worldwide hunt for the South Boston crime kingpin, wanted in connection with at least 19 homicides and other crimes.

“The Facts of Life XXX” was playing on several televisions in the modest Santa Monica apartment, and Bulger was reading “A Porn Valley Odyssey” on his iPad.

“What a tremendous value that book is,” noted FBI director Robert Mueller. “It’s essential reading for criminals and non-criminals alike.”

Bulger and his longtime girlfriend, Catherine Greig, assumed the identities of a Mr. and Mrs. Gasko. It was a tip generated from TV ads featuring Greig that cinched the knot on the couple.

But it may have also been Vivid’s open offer to release a celebrity sex tape—”Winter Hill Bang”—that helped to draw out Bulger Wednesday night. The FBI says it used an undisclosed “ruse” to lure the fugitive from his apartment.

Mueller says Bulger’s capture is the bittersweet end of an era.

“I really would have liked to have seen him in Axel Braun’s ‘The Departed XXX’ with Octomom,” says Mueller. “But I guess we have to jail him and stuff.”

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Officials: Bin Laden had porn stash, killed thousands of people; Faith: Lord Stanley has nothing on these cups; The Prime of Miss Jean Jacobs; Vivid sort of agrees to stop harassing Octomom