“Fellatio” comes from the Latin word “fellatus: To suck,” says jessica drake at the beginning of an otherwise great instructional video. But I went to Catholic school for several years and, if there’s one thing I know about fellatio, it’s that Latin verbs don’t have a -us ending.
“What is it that men want?” asks jessica drake re: Blowjobs in Wicked’s new instructional DVD. “And how can we do it better?”
I like this attitude a lot, and the customer service is apparent from the boxcover, which features Bobbi Starr in a worshipful, adoring pose.
drake is an excellent person to host this video. Sexy but professional, she drops a great deal of science without appearing—as some sex-ed presenters do—like it’s a lecture. But she is also savvy enough to not distract her audience by stealing the show.
Instead, she gives the floor to three men and three women who describe what their idea of a good blowjob is. What’s refreshing is that, while the performers don’t necessarily disagree, each has his/her own take on what makes fellatio special.
“I’m a pleaser,” says Allie Haze, whom I wish would return my calls. “I get turned on by sucking dick.”
Enthusiasm counts for a lot, says drake, and the men all adopt a Happy To Be There attitude, even in the contentious debate over Spit v. Swallow.
“If she wants to swallow it, fill your boots,” says Danny Mountain, using a British expression meaning “Allrighty then” (I had to look it up).
“It’s nice if they spit (semen) and it’s not on me,” admits Chris Johnson, who also advocates “not jerking it like she’s killing a chicken.”
The video, which drake moves along from a tastefully-appointed library set (the boxcover says drake has “Ten Years’ Experience in Sexuality,” whatever that means) through interviews with the performers, and then practical demonstrations, is articulate without being dry, probably because the performers are speaking from experience.
Bobbi Starr, who enjoys playing with her own saliva and your semen, and who later uses her cheek as part of a handjob, nevertheless echoes a call for personal hygiene.
“Wash your junk, because my mouth’s going on it,” she says. “I wash when you go down on me.”
An oboeist, Starr also recommends whistling to strengthen one’s lips and jaw.
Jordan Kingsley describes her own journey from being an admitted “cum-dodger” to a spermophile.
“Now I feel like I can’t get enough of it,” she says.
The guide focuses on technique and throws in some trivia, such as the helpful “teaspoon” guide. It even dares to doubt the long-held belief that diet influences the taste of semen.
What “Fellatio” doesn’t cover—probably because none of them men addresses it—is trust. For me, it takes trust to let someone else do all the work.
But Starr imagines a world where I don’t have to resort to irrumatio, where the woman’s mouth is simply used as a vagina, or masturbation.
The goal, she says, is that “you’re more exciting than his hands, I hope.”
Another thing the video doesn’t cover is how to deal with someone who can blow himself, so I ask drake personally.
“Well,” she says, “if you are able to blow yourself and lack technique, it will be right up your alley.”
Buy “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Fellatio ” here