Get off of my lawn, you handjobs!

taylor420There are certain porn dramas I don’t follow. This is not because they aren’t intriguing but because I lack the ability to immerse myself in someone else’s life while providing for my own life and that of my harem, my brood, my network of mutants, and the topiary here at Gram Ponante Towers, Arboretum, Institute of Invasive Health, and Suspect Juices Bar.

So I am not well-versed in the goings-on between former (and still dazzling) performer Taylor Rain, who “retired” from porn four years ago this month, former Hustler writer Scott Fayner, and former president of former porn studio Defiance Films, Keith O’Connor.

I don’t know anything about marriages, engagements, dogs, drug busts, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (where Fayner now lives and edits a blog about dogs, Mass Arf), jail time, babies, trannies, open relationships, shame, or the spiraling weirdness that was their lives and seems to have resolved itself, somehow, without my being involved or aware.

I do know that Taylor is set to begin directing again in January (a new mom, she says she is not performing) and that she is actively updating her site, Club Taylor Rain.

Here is an article I wrote about Defiance Films in 2005 for XBiz.

Below is a post I wrote in 2005 but never published on this site. Finding it in the tangled archival drafts section of my WordPress maze, I wondered whatever happened to Taylor Rain? and spent about 45 minutes I didn’t have stalking her in a way I hadn’t when she was still performing “Teen Handjobs.”

From July 2005:

It is a bold move for Defiance Films to release a teen handjobs title. Those goddamn teens can’t even keep my hedges uncluttered with their clove cigarettes or my car washed – how can I expect them to jerk me off? Seriously. All those teens do is talk on the phone and leave the cap off the Sunny DeLite. Can one really depend on them to coax a load from my discriminating Gram Hammer?

Defiance, based in Calabasas (Spanish for pumpkins – how have I had this website for seven months and not had the opportunity to say this? It is a puzzlement), is betting big on Taylor Rain and her various handjob antics with other “teen”s.

“With teens and handjobs, we have a built-in audience,” Defiance’s Keith O’Connor told me. “We’ve got a bunch of pre-orders for these titles.”

I don’t know…the last time one of those teens gave me money in a liquor store parking lot to buy her some Peppermint Schnapps, I was, like, totally embarrassed when I got to the counter and discovered it was all Canadian coins and stuff. Law-abiding Defiance Films, in association with MADD, says: You should have asked for the handjob instead.

Buy “Teen Handjobs” here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Taylor Rain’s Dunatics of Dune
See also: Club Taylor Rain

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