Gonzo girls protest 747 "ghetto"

As first reported on this site, the new 747 area code overlay for Porn Valley will take effect in May, and the issue of who gets to keep their sacred 818 numbers has torn the Porno-American community asunder.

According to the California Public Utilities Commission, only Porn Valley contract performers, company owners, and directors who don’t hold their own cameras will be allowed to keep their traditional 818 area codes, while gonzo girls, masked bukkake participants, and people possessing fewer than eight AVN, XBiz, Adultcon, or Temptation Awards will be forced to submit to the new 747 prefix.

“I’ve been in this business for seven years,” Penny Flame didn’t say. “I make my zig-zags out of hundred dollar bills. I own this place. What do you mean I have to give up my 818 just because I’m not a contract girl?”

The 818 area code entered service on January 7, 1984. Five years later, the California v. Freeman decision effectively legalized the filming of pornographic material in the state. Five years after that, the Northridge earthquake devastated the San Fernando Valley. Coincidence? Probably.

Ava Rose and Sophia Santi were once under contract to Adam & Eve and Digital Playground, respectively, and both are now freelance performers. This morning each was served notice that her status as a non-contract performer required her to change the settings on her BlackBerry.

“I will not be ghettoized,” the statuesque Santi did not say. “It is bad enough that I am a girls-only performer; now I have to share an area code with a kind of plane?”

Rose was more sanguine about the change.

“It’s not like they’re tattooing a ‘GG’ on my head,” Rose didn’t say.

Reached at her home in Oklahoma, Digital Playground contract star Jesse Jane observed that the question was moot because she never had an 818 area code to begin with.

“I’ve got a rootin’, tootin’ OK City 405 area code,” the petite blonde did not yelp. “And I’m just so grateful to Digital Playground for everything they’ve done.”

In response to the upcoming change, AIM Healthcare has announced it will help talent reprogram their cell phones for a modest fee of $625.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Area code impurity to destroy Valley identity, porn
See also: 747 to join 818 as Valley area code (latimes)

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