Gram Ponante steps up viral marketing

The main disadvantage of viral marketing, as I plan to tell a rapt audience Thursday at the XBiz Hollywood Forum, is that for all its attention-grabbing potential its usefulness to tradition-minded accounting departments is negligible. The results of viral marketing cannot be quantified using the old metrics.

Irregardless, as people who work at adult trade magazines have said to me this past week, I have decided to increase exposure of my brand by planting several hundred hoax devices around Porn Valley and Los Angeles County.

The next time you see a Hummer 3 being piloted by someone tiny, you are witnessing a rolling and Napoleonic example of my marketing genius. I put those Hummers there. The drivers are actors who, beneath several layers of latex and the “smallifying” suits I dressed them in, are actually effective people with high self esteem.

Spell out “GramPonante.com” with whatever implement you have, such as lipstick or a key, on the broad doors, hood, or windshield. You will then send me $35,000 for the inevitable legal challenges that will draw attention to my site.

Previously: Gram Ponante sold to Playboy; Mooninites descend on Boston; Cock-blocking with Gram
See also: XBiz Hollywood

About Gram the Man 4403 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

2 Comments

  1. Hells Yeah. The interesting thing was that I had to surrender my box full of Ax Body Spray in order to get the new suit.

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