Her Name Is Jaslene, And I Am Poor Old Johnny Ray

Neither Jaslene Jade nor co-star Bruce Venture were born when Dexy’s Midnight Runners released “Come On Eileen” in 1983 to international acclaim. The infectious (but not Staph-Infectious) single hit #1 in both the United States and the U.K., and inspired millions of people to prefix a parenthetical (There’s) to the song.

jaslene12Who’s to say this was not going through the minds of the cast and crew when Jade and Venture signed on to the “One Night Stands” project to perform a tepid sex scene in a clean and spare bedroom set? There was definitely some Come On Jaslene at the end of it.

Every time I am bored by porn, it’s thoughts like this that get me through, and that underline the fact that porn is what we make it. Another thing that was fun about this scene was the odd choice of transitions: One second both couples have pants on, and literally the next second they don’t and she’s blowing him. Maybe you see the need in watching people take off pants, but these folks don’t.



I’ve often wondered what became of Dexy’s Midnight Runners, so I looked at the band’s Wikipedia entry just for you. Apparently they had a quite a turbulent run, filled with what appears to be megalomania and political choices that seem out of place with the one song most of us knows.

They had no idea they’d be relegated to the one-hit wonder stack despite their obvious talent and ambition, but perhaps they will be comforted that someone thought of them IMMEDIATELY upon watching a popshot descend on the bejeweled stomach of Jaslene Jade.

Buy “One Night Stands” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: When pornographers abuse the word “hairy” like they do the word “MILF”
See also: · Adam & Eve

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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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