Hey, Home Pride: Even if she can’t tell you’re not looking at her, look at her anyway

This is why your car is getting towed, Pal.
This is why your car is getting towed, Pal.

I was reading the paper, sitting on the couch, and my girlfriend at the time thought it would be a good idea to blow me. My mistake? I thought it would be cool to continue reading the paper as she did it.

From both below and beyond the Seattle Post-Intelligencer I was reading (this was a few years ago), I could hear her voice: “Put. The Goddamn. Paper. Down.”

I did this immediately, knowing that print journalism was dead.

athena13But I also did it because we owe it to our partners to pay attention, even if paying too much attention might hasten the end.

I thought of this learning point in my own voyage of self-discovery when I saw Jordan Ash, his plate full with the zaftig Athena Pleasures, looking off camera in their scene from “Big Girls Are Sexy 3.”

Even if she can’t tell you’re not looking at her, do it anyway.

If Ash was checking to see if his car was getting towed, and then he found out his car had been towed, it would have been because he peeked up from Pleasures’ playground of an ass to see if his car was being towed.

Verily I say unto you: Don’t look away. Look at her back. Think of it as a loaf of bread you’re going to drop melted butter on, like the Buttertop Wheat commercials of my youth:

(Holy Shit: Not only am I astounded that I can still find a commercial like that, but I didn’t realize at the time how porny a loaf of bread could be.)

Buy “Big Girls Are Sexy 3” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: “Buffy XXX” is a Hershey Highway to the Hellmouth; What the FCC? “K-Jugs”
See also: New Sensations

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

1 Comment

  1. Woooooow… that is definitely the most pornographic bread commercial I’ve ever seen. I honestly have no recollection of seeing that commercial way back then (as I am old), but I did (and still would) enjoy some Home Pride Butter Top bread.

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