Of all the problems facing the porn world, runaway productions isn’t one of them. My staff at the Porn Valley Chamber of Commerce ensures that 90 percent of the world’s pornography is shot right here, and that there will never, ever be a Slammin’ Salmon Sluts from Vancouver, Or Cannery Hos.
If anything, international production comes here. That is why I have the good fortune of seeing Scots director Gazzman a few times a year as he pores over lists of available talent to film having sex. His latest project is “Gazzman’s Perfect Breasts.”
“I love breasts,” he said thoughtfully.
“Go on,” I said.
“I like the way they move,” he said. “Do they foop! down? Do they stay still?”
“Who’s got some nice breasts, in your opinion?” I said.
“Now Aiden Starr is someone with perfect breasts,” he said. “(She’s) Five-foot-nothing, and they’re perfectly round.”
Aiden Starr would be shooting with Gazzman the next day, but here are some pictures that confirm his opinion.
Gazzman is a co-owner of Porn Week, a sort of porn tourist trip organized for guys with enough cash and porn stars with enough personality to tolerate extended contact with fans.
He is also a principal directory of Harmony Films, a London-based studio that is attached to a chain of British retail outlets, the way Adam & Eve is organized in the United States. It is for Harmony that Gazzman is here today.
Gazzman travels to the U.S. with a small crew every few months. For the last few years, the crew has been the same: a gentleman named Big Bad Dave as the production manager, and Will, a still photographer and second cameraman.
They travel with their own cameras but rent lights locally. They never stay for more than ten days, well under the three-month limit imposed by the U.S government.
“Though they check all our documents on the way in,” Big Bad Dave said, “they don’t give us too much scrutiny on the way out. So our passports didn’t get stamped last time and, when we returned for another shoot, it looked as if we’d been in the country the whole time.”
Big Bad Dave met Gazzman when he was a Porn Week attendee and gradually began picking up work with the director. Now he busies himself with making sure the crew is fed, the cast is douched, and that everyone has all the wipes/batteries/water he or she needs. He is a large, calming presence, like Santa.
“When we get lunch for the crew here, it’s usually Baja Fresh,” Big Bad Dave said, “but we have been lucky to shoot in some European castles where they tend to have a local chef on staff, so we have large community dinners.”
While Gazzman sets are uniformly convivial affairs, the sex tends to be graphic and filthy. Still, if most porn ends the same way, how do directors make it look different?
“It really is the angle,” Gazzman said. “Is it a European twist on American talent? I think an American director might shoot the same girl in the same location differently.”
Gazzman likes to get right up in there. He shoots high-heeled pornstresses from an almost clinical proximity, crouched underneath them with a camera outfitted with a radial light for maximum exposure.
Today Riley Evans is being illuminated poolside with Tony DeSergio and Olivier Sanchez who, along with Marco Banderas, are three performers Gazzman uses a lot.
“We try to have a congenial atmosphere on the set,” Gazzman said, “and those gentlemen are always professional.”
Professional includes fucking for extended periods in contrived positions for optimal camera access. For the women it includes wearing high heels, which make the legs look longer, and for the men it involves staying hard for the repositioning of cameras. While your unfilmed sex scene at home might be over in twenty minutes, a male performer needs to stay hard for hours.
“That’s why we keep snacks on hand,” said Big Bad Dave.
Gazzman has also flown talent to Europe to film there, as when he shot Bobbi Starr in her eponymous “Nymphomaniac” movie.
“It’s the angle again,” he said. “Europeans like American talent. If the girl is the same, the variables can be the location, the partners, or the expression on her face in a new country.”
Because I am confined to an iron lung, I get all my information about England from Squeeze songs. And as both Tony DeSergio and Gazzman are subjects of the Queen, I asked about an expression in “Cool for Cats.”
“Oh,” DeSergio said, “‘How’s your father?’ is a pickup line.”
“It’s what you say when you want to pull a bird,” Gazzman said. “‘How’s your father? How about a bit of the rumpy pumpy?'”
R-u-m-p-y P-u-m-p-y I wrote.
Europe is an edgier market, and some companies find it profitable to release two versions of movies, one with a European edit and another that is safe for the States. Though Gazzman only shoots one version, he needs to pass it through the British Video and Film Commission (BVFC) censors for release in the United Kingdom.
“And they’re particular,” Gazzman said.
For example, Gazzman said, “Urination is O.K., but not during sex. And a little choking is all right.”
“Is it tone or time they’re (the BVFC) interested in?” I said.
“Tone,” he said. “So you can show someone choking on an apple and then having sex. Or urinating and then having sex.”
“But no one choking on urine while urinating and having sex,” I said.
“No,” he said, looking pained.
Outside, Riley Evans clacked across the poolside walkway where she then grabbed hold of whatever was most apparent on DeSergio and Sanchez. The location was West Hills, with a hilltop view of Porn Valley, and next door to the place where, again on a Gazzman shoot, I first met Bobbi Starr and Nikki Jayne. It was about 100 degrees.
“Let’s get this shot before we catch on fire,” said Gazzman, and Riley Evans asked for some water.
“Coming right up,” Big Bad Dave said.
“I don’t want to chafe their dicks with my hands,” Evans explained.
Everyone is so thoughtful.
- See a gallery here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Viv Thomas is neither about the screaming and bellowing and swearing, nor the hairy bobbing man-arse; Upstairs/Downstairs with Tatiana Kush and Nicki Hunter (and these dudes); Japanese porn exporters put their money where the mosaic is
See also: Harmony Films
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