Jayden Jaymes: Holy guacamole

Muffia.com’s parody “Star Trix” (see the review here) features Jayden Jaymes’ uncanny interpretation of the delicious California avocado.

Porn Valley-adjacent Fallbrook, California is known as the Avocado Capital of the World, and you can see that the capital of Jayden Jaymes is the only part of her that is not painted green, lest Jack Lawrence, playing the alien-fellating Captain Dirk, end up looking like he caught a frog in the face whilst riding with the top down.

The word avocado is taken from the Aztec word ahuacatl, meaning “testicle.” You could look it up.

I like the idea that Jaymes is pink where the pit would be, and that is my only recommendation for an otherwise unremarkable movie.

UPDATE: The original version of this story stated that “avocado” derived from an Incan word, not an Aztec one. I received the following note from a linguist, and stand corrected:

The language of the Inca civilization (generally known as Quechua) did not have a written form (like Flemish in that regard), and accordingly, relatively few words passed etymologically through the conquistadores and into English. Avocado does indeed take its name from ahuacatl, which does indeed mean “testicle”, but it comes to us from the Nahuatl language, which was the tongue of the Aztec civilization.

I knew a girl who was also known as “the tongue of the Aztec civilization.” She wouldn’t be sacrificed as a virgin, that’s for sure.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Star Trix; I’m with Britney; Here’s that Jayden Jaymes; Ask A Porn Guy – Breaking into Porn with Jack Lawrence
See also: Muffia

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