When I ask her what appeals to her in the fellating or manipulating to climax up to 30 men in her upcoming “Kelly Shibari’s Big Beautiful Bukkake And Blowjob Show,” Ms. Shibari seems confused by the question.
“You mean other than being covered in buckets of come?” she says.
“Well, yes,” I say, asking the hard questions (because You Can’t Spell Journalism without JismTM).
“I like giving head more than I like having sex,” she says, “and the scenes I like to watch are of girls taking on a lot of guys and getting really, really messy.”
Shibari attributes her huge boobs to the Irish side of her family, but I ask if she feels a cultural affinity to the bukkake because of her Japanese ancestry.
“You know,” I say, “like how I love the banjo and NASCAR.”
“Not really,” she says. “Or maybe. I like to please people. The problem with having a threesome or foursome (which is the extent of Shibari’s on- or offscreen experience to date) is that someone invariably feels left out. With a 30-person bukkake, everyone will be treated equally.”
Shibari conceived the idea during the Women’s World Cup as Team USA prepared to face Japan.
“Last year there was Team BJ, where (Bobbi Eden and Vicky Vette) offered to give blowjobs to Twitter followers if the Dutch won the World Cup,” she says. “With this, everybody wins.”
It would be just as significant if there were no connection to soccer whatsoever, but Shibari says she will be wearing soccer socks to maintain a narrative, which is so important in bukkakes.
I ask if her basic submissive nature would be tested by the arrival, on the August 7 shoot day, of a man she found revolting.
“Well,” she says, “I’m not into the shaved-head, steroid-pumped, MMA guys. I like Midwestern, beer-drinking, chubby white guys. So my standards are different than most porn girls’. Plus, unless he is clearly unbathed or homeless—in which case he proably wouldn’t have a test—I’m pretty much open to anyone.”
The test Shibari refers to is the standard “adult industry panel” offered by clinics like Talent Testing Service for about $110. Participants must show proof that they have taken and passed this test and provide valid ID. Shibari will vet all potential participants prior to the shoot.
There have been BBW gangbangs in the past, but Shibari says this one will be different because blowjobs and handjobs require a little more work.
“I’ve got 90 minutes to get 30 guys’-worth of come on me,” she says. “And these aren’t necessarily going to be industry guys with industry dicks.”
“So you’ll have to reach farther,” I say.
“Yes,” she says.
“Do you think you can really bring off a guy every three minutes?” I ask.
It is here Shibari drops an essential truth about bukkakes in particular and porn in general.
“There’s going to be a certain amount of guys jerking themselves off,” she says. “Though I will have contact with each of their dicks in some way. The purpose of the bukkake is that they come on me.”
And Shibari provides a lovely, rolling surface, like the planet Solaris. I have written a haiku about it:
You, virgin snowfield
Gleaming, ripe and expectant
I’ll jerk off on you
“Kelly Shibari’s Big Beautiful Blowjob And Bukkake Show” will be broadcast on the popular porn cam service Streamate. There is an open call for participants, each of whom must be tested and be able to deliver themselves to Los Angeles (and to deliver onto Kelly Shibari).
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Sabrina’s Deep-Thinking Big Top Gang Bang
See also: Kelly Shibari’s PaddedKINK
I’ve passed on Kelly Shibari for quite a few years now. Your writing has actually gotten me excited about watching this. Be proud.
Also, your haiku is transcendent, sir. Two hundred years from now, high school kids will study it in Honors English.