Sometimes Women Murder You: Jack the Zipper’s “Killers”

Killers-jack-the-zipper-ponante-reviewThe Killers
Director: Jack the Zipper
Studio: Cobra Films
Starring: Skin Diamond, Xander Corvus, Joslyn James, Nacho Vidal, Eric Swiss, Murrugan the Mystic, Andy San Dimas, Emily Addison, Maya Hills, Bruce Venture

Since its release in 2014, this movie has gone in and out of availability. I post this review now simply because not enough people got to see “Killers” due to contract restrictions.

“Killers,” Jack the Zipper’s 13th film (he made an excellent and legally-contested version of “True Grit” starring Marc Davis and Alyssa Branch that will probably never be seen in public) is a noirish joyride of calculation and baser instincts that makes getting bumped off look worth it. If you’ve got to go, might as well have a naked and sweaty Joslyn James sending you out.

She

Nacho Vidal is torturing the splendidly pneumatic Joslyn James, who is naked but for her clown mask. If she were wearing a dress, she’d be bursting out of it, so it’s good she’s naked and sweaty. She’s sitting on an orange vinyl chair which, in the dim light of Nacho’s torture chamber, gives her sex-toned body a frank, about-to-be-fucked appearance.

And about-to-be-fucked she is. He removes the mask to reveal a crop of unruly hair. She laughs as he then applies a plastic bag to her head. Readers: James appears crazy in this scene, and it drives Nacho nuts. He wants to torment-fuck the laughter right out of her.

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From their orange-tinted trysting area he takes her to a bathroom. The scene goes black and white. She keeps laughing.

“Killers” is a loose collection of scenes, each of which ends in death. Zipper says, “even assassins have girlfriends” and in this movie, the girlfriends have had enough.

We briefly meet meet Eric Swiss at this point, jonesing opposite a voiceover from “Freakshow”‘s Murrugan the Mystic, playing “Cowboy,” perhaps the ringleader of the whole operation. We never learn too much about why these people have to die, but Murrugan gives the joint atmosphere.

The Poison

Bruce Venture brutally fucks plush Slav Maya Hills who, like James before her, has a body that seems ideally suited to this kind of treatment. It is super absorbent. When they are done, both the plot of the movie and its title are revealed.

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Now smoking and talking on her cell phone in a thick, emotionless Russian accent, Venture lying prone in the background, Hills says, “He is dead. I used the poison.”

Rev

Next we meet Skin Diamond and Xander Corvus. When this movie was shot in 2012, both Corvus and Diamond were on the verge of a greater stardom (Diamond, who had spent most of her life in Scotland and appeared in a Burning Angel video in 2009, had returned for a full porn biz immersion in 2011). Zipper says, “I feel like I’ve been having a conversation with Skin Diamond over the past two years…I feel honored to have captured this moment in her life.”

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Corvus himself looks like an erotic vampire in this scene, and you can see why he would go on to become a favorite of couples’ movie directors (Zipper calls “Killers” “a demented couples’ film,” and it makes sense). The two have a passionate, violent scene, and when Diamond dispatches him in the end, he steals the show.

Babe

Anyone who knows the ouevre of Eric Swiss knows that the comparatively vanilla scene with a t-shirted Andy San Dimas would have to lead to a twist, and indeed it does. San Dimas, whose great skill is that she can pass for Not A Porn Star, seems genuinely remorseful when she takes out Swiss — twice — in a blood-and-other-fluids-soaked dispatch. Luckily they had sex one last time.

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San Dimas looks almost wholesome as she is fucked in her wifebeater and then, when we later see her, bespectacled and ponytailed, in her lab, we just about die (as does Swiss). Duel

Emily Addison and Skin Diamond prowl the hallways of Hollywood’s Chateau Alto Nido for their rendezvous. Who’s going to kill whom? It turns out that each means to kill the other, one with some nitroglycerine and the other with a gun. The gun wins.

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Finally we reach the tragic denouement of James’ and Vidal’s courtship. By this point James looks like the great Whore of Babylon or the Acid Queen — terrifying and desirable at the same time.

“Looks like the Spaniard met his match,” says the Cowboy.

“Killers” is a movie worth owning both for its substance and style. Each one of these scenes, if appearing in a different film, would win an award. As it is, I would have to nominate the James/Vidal pairing for Sex Scene of the Year and “Killers” as this year’s best picture, no matter what year it was actually shot.

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