Kimberly Kane: Better homes and vaginas

It’s not like I pay any special attention to Kimberly Kane’s vagina – it’s the person encircling it that I’m most fond of – but when she brings it up herself, well, I’m all ears.

Kane tweeted the above during a successful visit with a gynecologist familiar to Porn Valley’s most vadgetastic performers.

“I was not confused by my doctor’s statement,” she told me later. “It made perfect sense to me; he meant that my vajaja looks unused.”

Now, I am fond of certain housewives, and it irked me that there was a doctor somewhere equating being a housewife with not getting any.

“… meaning that housewives only get fucked by their husbands and rarely at that,” Kane kontinued.

Now that the federal consent decree has been lifted from the LAPD, I’m wondering if the feds shouldn’t train their curiosity on gynecologists, who are clearly profiling their patients based on the condition of their vaginas.

“You’ve got a vadge like it’s been in every ‘Gang Bang Squad’ ever made,” I can imagine LA County’s untethered gynos telling weeping housewives.

Kane klarified.

Since “Housewife” seems to be the standard of vaginal cleanliness for the ob/gyn community, I asked Kane how she keeps her vagina so Housewife-fresh.

“I keep my vajaja nice and tidy with extreme paranoia and fear of disease,” said Kane.

“Next time you’re parading your vagina around,” I said, “would you put a little apron on it?

“I do have an apron and it says ‘KK’s Kitchen,'” Kane said.

“What does it look like?” I said, breathing from a respirator.

“It’s pink with black trim,” she said. “Just like my healthy vag!”

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Kimberly Kane – Rainmaker; It’s more hopeful if you read Hebrew
See also: Follow Kimberly Kane on Twitter