Lexi Belle is so achingly beautiful that you almost don’t want to imagine doing the horrible/wonderful things to her that this job requires. But she’s up for it.
Belle, who today turns 25, was on set for Gazzman’s “Megan Coxxx: Nymphomaniac.” This was four days ago, when she was just 24.
Because the well-known actor who was supposed to introduce the movie, Angus Scrimm-style, had not shown up, I was prepared to take the bullet and don a lab coat and deliver the following lines:
What is a nymphomaniac?
A deviant?
A lascivious she-whore? (I will be taking the writing credit on that line, per the WGA)
Some may say, “A Harlot.”
Or is she a woman who is in touch with her innermost sexual desires?
A woman unafraid to reach out and embrace the burning core of her freakery?
A woman like Megan Coxxx: Nymphomaniac??!
As I rehearsed, I informed Belle that I was a professional and wouldn’t abuse my status as an actor by trying to inseminate her.
“That’s OK,” she said. “The dirtier, the better.”
That is not to say that Lexi Belle herself is a mercenary nymphomaniac, throwing herself with abandon at any journalist, no matter how beloved, for a few well-chosen words; Nay, but that she knew I was joking, and she joked back.
Later, she shaved her pubes into a perfect isosceles triangle as she explained to Coxxx that the first time a camera caught her giving a blowjob, she was unhappy with the results.
“I sucked, and not in a good way,” she said.
That night, in a boiler room famous for its appearance in “Nightmare on Elm Street” (the real version, not the porn one), she endured boobs-high dust getting into all her secret places. She worked for hours, and made sure everyone on set got her promotional material, consisting of stickers and a photo of her in full clown makeup. I like that she’s silly.
I think the key to success in the porn industry is knowing what and what not to take seriously, and when, and Belle has that down. When she quits porn, she says, she wants to be a real estate agent.
“I am very excited by real estate,” she says.
Can you imagine Belle in a smart business suit cooking apple cider in the kitchen of a home for which she has the listing? I can.
In fact, I’d buy two houses. Even if someone was murdered in them. Even if it was Belle who commited the murders. Even if Belle murdered me. That’s how strongly I feel.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: (You) and Lexi Belle; “Pornstar Tweet”: Where the elite meet to beat meat, tweet
See also: Lexi Belle on Twitter, Gazzman
Lexi does seem like she’s a little bit of awesome.