Lexington Steele tries to be all things to all people

Lexington Steele needs to make a stand. Even though his new movie, MILF Magnet 2, cannily advertises both milves (women who have had children) and cougars (women of a certain age), thus making the statement that there is a difference, it doesn’t go far enough.

As you can see, the boxcover says “All MILF! All Cougar!” That’s a strong statement if it’s true.

I spoke with Wayne Hentai, Steele’s press agent from the firm Plan 9 Media Group.

Hentai: From what I understand, MILFs have kids. Cougars do not. Since I don’t know the maternal disposition of the women in MILF Magnet 2, anything goes.

Me: Well, I’m willing to believe that a woman who identifies herself as a MILF is actually a MILF.

Hentai: You trust people.

Me: In your opinion is there an age requirement for Milves and cougars? It would seem to me that you could be an 18 year old MILF, technically, but at what age does a non-breeder woman become a cougar, or is it a skin density issue?

Hentai: It’s more an existential question — when are YOU ready to be called a MILF/cougar?

Me: I’m asking the questions here!

Hentai: I’d say a MILF must be over 27. That’s about when girls start getting serious about pushing out the puppies and breeding, isn’t it?

Me: I think it depends on what part of the country you’re from and your social/religious/educational/financial status. Also if anyone wants to have sex with you.

Hentai: And for a cougar; I don’t know. Early-to-mid-30s. You need to ask someone who has sex.

Me: Thanks for your time.

So according to Hentai, cougars can’t be milves. Therefore the legend “All Cougar! All MILF!” is erroneous. Luckily no one cares about this except me. What matters is that Lexington Steele fucks them while wearing his sunglasses while one puts her finger in her mouth and the other recovers from a head wound.

Watch Lexington Steele – MILF Magnet #2
Buy Lexington Steele – MILF Magnet #2

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Previously: Lex launches latest load litany, lensing lipward-lofting love loogies
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Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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