So before you go around using the word “ironic” incorrectly, say, when you just mean “weird,” consider this helpful tip: Graphically filthy porn star Chastity Lynn’s first name is an example of irony—a statement that means its own opposite. When you drop all your steaks on the way from the barbecue today and say, “Great!” you are being ironic. If you are a self-described Gangbang Queen and call yourself Chastity, you are being ironic.
If you are looking for Captain Morgan’s but find Bacardi instead, you don’t say “That’s ironic!” unless you look like the woman who said that to me yesterday, at which point you could say “I personally killed 6 million Jews” and you’d get a pass and an “Oh, you.”
On this independence Day, let’s talk about Privilege.
It is almost certainly wrong to take advantage of Chastity Lynn, what with her looking so tottery, fevered, and perhaps chemically imbalanced. But in this scene from “Barely Legal POV 13,” that’s the point.
More consistently true to its founding principles than any other porn series, “Barely Legal” and its spinoffs always appeal to the fantasies of older men seeking accessible younger women. How the women manifest that accessibility varies.
In the case of Chastity Lynn and director Dirty Dan, Lynn looks like she has had only sex—but not food—in the week since she arrived at the Porn Valley bus station, then stumbled into Dan’s bachelor pad.
For his part, Dan cannot believe his luck.
“Jesus Christ,” he says upon viewing Lynn’s cutoffs and what they barely conceal. “Aye aye aye.”
We see his hand emerge from the right side of the frame and grab a chunk of her ass. We can see that that hand has been on this earth easily twice, perhaps 2 and 1/2 times as long as her ass has.
“Chastity….you’re adorable,” he breathes.
“Thank you,” she says, taking her fingers from her teeth just long enough to vocal-fry out the words.
But lest you think that Lynn is just cashing a check with this lecherous old dude, that she will just lie there while he does the horrible things he does, we are happy to watch her go to town on the guy.
Because we’re not in a frat house taking liberties, we are on a paid-for porn set (actually an apartment with two couches pushed together, but still).
I believe that this is one instance of how pornstresses edge out their general population counterparts in compassion.
Would men like Dirty Dan have a chance with a typical Hollywood bar hottie who wasn’t in porn? No. And so that same woman would not be able to build up a database of Older Gentlemen Who Understandably Want to Get in Their Pants.
On the other hand, while she may not cruise the AARP office for likely candidates in her non-porn life, she does take on a few of these fellows a week in her job, and is therefore able to play the role of a blinking, arching, presenting cat in heat for Dan’s delight and ours. It ain’t no thing to her.
Perhaps overwhelmed by her Sister of Mercy bit, he prematurely ejaculates.
“Oh Jesus!” he cries. “Hey, look what you made me do.”
Lynn betrays no judgment.
But then Dan blows it a second time.
“What’s your name again?” he says. Idiot.
Buy “Barely Legal POV 13” here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Her name is Chastity, for some reason
See also: Hustler
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