I got a tanker of antique porn movies the other day from VCX, which reissues titles from the Golden Age from its various catalogue acquisitions. One was a movie I’d never heard of, 1975′s Little Angel Puss.
Little Angel Puss (LAP) is a wayward teen who flounces around naked in front of her father. Her father looks a little like Leonidas in 300. LAP herself reminds me of Shelly Duvall in The Shining.
LAP cannot keep it in her pants, in the same way the boom operator cannot keep the microphone out of the shot. These failings coalesce when LAP is spurned by her boyfriend for being oversexed.
“Shit! Who needs you anyway, Jimmy Boyd?” LAP cries.
Seeking refuge in another woman, LAP has a Sapphic fling with her friend. You can tell that her life is spiraling out of control.
“Put down that guitar,” her friend says. “There’s a little thing down there called a CLYtoris.”
Leonidas discovers them, and LAP decides she needs to get out and go to liberal San Francisco.
“Your inquisitive days are just about numbered,” Leonidas says.
At a cafe LAP meets Big Daddy the Pimp. He hands her his card, twice. Things go downhill from there.
She prostitutes herself with a man named Rashid, who Israeli not a nice man.
She inevitably does heroin in a bathroom. Myself, I think getting an AOL address is hitting bottom, but they didn’t have that in 1975.
I will not spoil anything by saying that LAP does not throw herself off the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead, she goes back home, her lesson learned.
This is probably the greatest porn film of all time, and it’s hard to believe that there have been 34 years of porn since then that I now realize were redundant.
Little Angel Puss is not yet available on any of the sites lucky enough to get my business, but I will send you my copy if you can answer the following question:
Who gave Shelly Duvall a ride home in the beginning of 1975′s Nashville?
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: John Holmes book also measured in inches; Porn Valley two-headed donkey tour – the Wonderland Murders; Hair apparent – The Violation of Claudia
See also: VCX
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist
Was it Mr Green played by Keenan Wynn?
Jeff Goldblum
Heath – sorry, but Wrong. But please do send drunk pictures of your wife. Please have her naked in a Foster’s delirium punching the ‘roos.
But Billy, you are RIGHT. Send me your real name, snail address, and a declaration that you aare over 18 and that it is legal to send adult material to you. E-mail adddy on the contact page of gramponante.com/.
Damn, oh well. Never seen the movie. Just googled the keywords hoping for a hit!
So, this “tanker of antique porn”…Will there be any other chances to win part of the haul?