Lou-Ellyn is not dead; she’s just bored with the title of the movie she’s in.
I reviewed Abby Winters.com’s masturbation epic Intimate Temptations for the website Fleshbot and can’t stop thinking about it. What kind of name for a porn movie is Intimate Temptations? It sounds like a cookie store at the mall.
A porn movie deserves a better title, lest someone think it’s not a film featuring women masturbating each other to orgasm but instead a General Foods International Coffee or the lounge at the Sheraton where every Tuesday night Dreamboat Annie, a Heart cover band, plays to eight or nine people, which include Dreamboat Annie.
It turns out Intimate Temptations was a consensus title. Because I am America’s Beloved Muckraking Porn Journalist, I flew to Australia (John Travolta was my Qantas pilot/Scientology auditor) and unearthed Abby Winters.com internal documents to discover several rejected titles:
Warm Feelings
Sensual Glances
Pleasant Fondlings
Lazy Afternoons
Vibrating Passions
Strollin’ in the Colon
Damp Folds
Heated Flooring
Earnest Rubbings
As you can see, there is plenty to recommend this movie, which makes the title tragedy greater. Imagine Nick Cave releasing an album called Intimate Temptations.
See? You can’t do it.
Watch Intimate Temptations now.
Buy Intimate Temptations now.
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Oi my aching back; Cultural learnings of the Abby Winters girls
See also: Abby Winters
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