In the adult world, it is easy to equate “sedate” with “failure,” but the relative calm and low turnout to last week’s XBiz Summer Forum in Las Vegas was merely a reflection of doubtful times for the porn biz. In isolated doses, it might have been any adult convention in boom times; there was nudity, drunkenness, suspicion of authority, the gradual breakdown of order, and plenty of wheeling and dealing.
“I’m not used to this palpable despair,” said one longtime porn salesman at the Hard Rock Hotel, as unsuspecting families walked by. Why were they unsuspecting? It was a trade convention, for one, so there wasn’t the spectacle of ogling fans. There also was very little overt signage to indicate that the Hard Rock was hosting a convention for an industry that makes its money from the exploitation of vaginas.
But fun was had: there were Go Kart races, cocktail hours, a golf tournament, sponsored lunches, and – the one thing that distinguished the XBiz Forum from a Shriners’ convention – a beauty pageant.
The Miss XBiz Pageant took place by the Hard Rock’s pool. Ashley Fires danced with fire, Kagney Linn Karter and Joanna Angel danced with poles, and everyone else needed to do nothing other than stand there in a bathing suit to be appreciated.
When Fires was crowned Miss 2009 by Miss 2008 (Vivid contract performer Nikki Jayne), there was grumbling that the contest had been rigged, that others got higher scores, that Fires was given preferential treatment when she, along with a few other contestants, were given second chances to demonstrate their talents.
But the XBiz Pageant had something other pageants don’t: everyone participating in Miss XBiz was special in her own way, and no one was asked how she would resolve crime in our streets.
These opportunities for camaraderie are very important in an insular business where most of the transactions take place over ICQ. But did the free lunches, cocktails, pool parties, and scintillating seminars featuring the likes of me justify the hotel rates, air fare, and $250 registration price tag?
Well Yes. As I said, I was scintillating.
Jeff Mullen and Scott David, the principals of XPlay and always good for compelling quotes, each said in different encounters that the adult DVD business had two to two-and-a-half years, tops, to survive.
“Hope there’s room for me at McDonald’s,” Mullen said. He is in pre-production of a movie tentatively titled “Flight Attendants” starring Hillary Scott, and he’ll do fine.
Myself, I came home with 57 business cards and three numbers scrawled on napkins, down from 980 business cards (but no napkins) from my longer adult biz Vegas sojourn in January. But I trust that they are 57 quality people (and three sluts).
But two things happened that I feel are emblematic of the problems facing the porn industry.
I was invited up to Angelina Armani’s room for the Mother of All Photos with My First Edition of “Jaws” and she refused to get naked. Her handler, Monstar, explained that nudity would decrease her brand marketability.
“Soon there’s nude pictures all over the Internet,” he explained.
Armani is a delightful person who sincerely loves sharks, but I feel that her business is being naked for my camera. It’s like this: when people see women naked on the Internet they don’t lose interest in them; they want to see more pictures of them naked on the Internet. If they see them persistently clothed, they don’t go buy website memberships.
“I can see all that down at the Convent,” they say. “Or I could, if it weren’t for that restraining order.”
The final thing concerned two gentlemen, one who I know well, the affiliate manager of a major site that I do business with, and a man I don’t know very well at all.
The latter dude was telling me how he should write for my site and thereby drive traffic to it from his. I explained that I was a Lone Wolf.
“I work alone,” I said. “It is my curse.”
At five the next morning the three of us ran into each other again. We were all drunk. I walked out of the elevator as they walked in.
“I’ll make you money, Bro!” the second guy said.
“I won’t,” my affiliate manager said, and the elevator door closed.
- See my 2009 XBiz Summer Forum gallery here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: XBiz Summer Forum 07; Eating out your way across Porn Valley
See also: XBiz
There will always be room for Mullen at MickeyD's. Can't you just picture him as a shift manager, sexually harassing the teenage fry-cooks? ("C'mon, baby, come back to the manager's office for five minutes, & I'll put you out front at the register! You'll be a star!")