Unless you are a trucker or maybe a blues musician, you do not refer to women as “Mama.” So is “Mama’s Got Big Boobies” aimed at the lucrative Delta Blues Truck Stop circuit? Because you gotta consider the alternative: the only other people who use the word “Mama” is people referring to their own mothers.
“Is there something here to entertain me?” asks Bridgette B. in “Mama’s Got Big Boobies.” I am hoping big boobies do not contribute to a sense of ennui.
When one leaps—effortlessly, as I did this afternoon—between vaseline-lensed scenes of virgin masturbation to desperate, nothing-left-to-romance MILFtrysts, one becomes aware that, somewhere between Ingenue and Cougarhood, a decision is made to put all that shit In Your Face.
You’ll ask why I draw no distinction between MILF and Cougar, and it’s because I’m Tired And I’ve Given Up. In “Mama’s Got Big Boobies,” you’d expect someone would at least casually mention “My children resent me,” but No, the audience is left to reinforce the flawed notion that, just because she’s gone heavy on the makeup and she’s wearing a midriff-concealing bustier, that she’s given birth within the last decade.
Just the other day I saw a woman in a midriff-bearing bustier at the Starbucks on Laurel Canyon and Riverside,a nd I didn’t just assume she was a MILF.
Anyway, Eva Karrera, the Unsinkable Bridgette B., Kiara Mia, and the resurgent Jessica Bangkok show that their twilight years (MAYBE someone is pushing 31) won’t be misspent.
Buy “Mama’s Got Big Boobies” here
Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Couples—never use “Rape!” as a safeword
See also: Digital Sin
“Because you gotta consider the alternative: the only other people who use the word “Mama” is people referring to their own mothers.”
Maybe the copy was written by Johnny Bravo?
“When one leaps—effortlessly, as I did this afternoon—between vaseline-lensed scenes of virgin masturbation to desperate, nothing-left-to-romance MILFtrysts, one becomes aware that, somewhere between Ingenue and Cougarhood, a decision is made to put all that shit In Your Face.”
Well put, and thank the gods for the Milves, Cougars, and assorted ladies of similar ilk who bring their raw enthusiasm and lovely nastiness to the show.