Marital Aid Test Kitchen: Vampire Gloves from Love Bites

matk_bitesIt’s the Idea of March, and I’m in Santa Monica for Corset Magazine’s meet and greet. A tall, elegant woman walks up to me and says, “May I stroke your face?”

As we know from “Ghostbusters,” if a woman asks if she can stroke your face, you say Yes, so I did, and the woman—Serene Sin, pro-domme and crafter of Vampre Gloves—reached up and stroked one side of my face with a soft, black chenille glove. It was a nice feeling, and I wondered if Ms. Sin also placated horses. But then Sin inverted her hand in a Miss America wave and stroked the other side of my face with the other side of the glove, and I got the nicest thrill.

The other side of the glove was laced with a series of a dozen minute barbs. You could probably do some damage if applying any real force, but that wasn’t the point.

“The point, during Play, is to tease with one side and maybe do a little punishing with th other,” Sin says.

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Sin buys gloves—there are several different varieties, including fingerless, lace, and one version with Svaroski crystals—and methodically adds studs to them. The result is handwear with a secret. Imagine going to the opera with a pair of these (I have never been to an opera but we have all seen pictures of opera audiences, and you just know they are bored stiff and are probably just there to enact various SM fantasties whilst dressed well and being hollered at) and then, upon entering your carriage for the ride home, ging to work on your date with one of these.

These aren’t the type of gloves to get into snowball fights with, unless your opponent is some kind of lifestyle submissive. I suppose Snowball Play might be a thing.

The gloves range in price, style, and subtlety from $19.99 to just under $100. If you need a personal endorsement, I used mine on a special test subject recently (I wore the left hand—The Devil’s Hand) and, after five minutes, she said, “Just fuck me.”

I think that’s the point.

See also: Love Bites Gloves

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