Matthew, Mark, “Throat,” and johns

throat2It’s Holy Week at Vivid, and Paul Thomas and Sasha Grey have at least 75 percent of the Gospels wrapped up.

I’m sure it is the deepest hope of many people connected to individuals in the Porno-Industrial Complex that their loved ones throw down their Fleet enemas, designer lubes, and pthalate-free inflatable Pamela Peakses in favor of picking up a Bible. Recently I did just that.

The occasion was Vivid’s Throat: A Cautionary Tale, in which Sasha Grey becomes the latest heir of Linda Lovelace, shocked and delighted to learn that her clitoris is in her throat. I thought the movie was excellent (see the review here), though I was saddened that such a worthy effort needed a shamtastic Showtime infomercial to accompany it.

Grey was a treat, as were the performances of Tom Byron and Penny Flame. (Like my pants, Penny Flame gets hotter as she ages.) Byron and Flame had a B story as a couple of L.A. detectives. In a mainstream movie, their storyline would have seemed tacked on. But since this was porn, I thought, “Hey! They tacked something on! How thoughtful!”

It was Herschel Savage, however, playing a red herring (eating) Hasidic Jew that sent me on a spiritual quest.

Savage’s character shows up as a mouth-breathing fan of Grey’s peep show who triggers her innate stripper’s misanthropy.

“Isn’t this against your religion?” she says. “Aren’t you disgusted with yourself?” (He answers in the affirmative both times, then pays her money to blow him.)

Savage is significant in the events leading up to Grey’s death (the movie is told in flashback, right up there with “The Name of the Rose” and the Phil Collins video “Billy Don’t Lose My Number”) and utters a line from the Bible at a pivotal moment.

Unfortunately, the Orthodox Jew took a line from the wrong testament. Could it be that the Jews who allegedly run the porn world aren’t observant? I’d ask (former porn blogger) Luke Ford, if anything to have my headline make more sense, but he is as pareve as they come.

Savage’s line comes from the Gospel of Matthew, the first Gospel in the New Testament. Why Savage chose to give Grey a life lesson based on a book he didn’t believe in is a mystery. Maybe his character wasn’t Jewish after all? Maybe he was impersonating a Jew to give his character moral weight or extra pathos?

Or, more likely, maybe producers thought that any Bible line would do because audiences are dopes? Next time I do a P.O.V. movie I’m going to say, “Here’s my first letter to the Ephesians on your face, you sluts.”

jcs2But lest we think Matthew is the only gospeler represented in porn this week, let’s not forget Mark. The Gospel of Mark was the source material of Norman Jewison’s 1973 movie version of the Andrew Lloyd Weber/Tim Rice rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar which starred Paul Thomas as Peter.

“Yvonne Elliman (Mary Magdalene) had just seen ‘Deep Throat’ but wanted to know what one was like,” PT said of his time shooting the Norman Jewison classic. “So we went off to the desert and she practiced her deep throating techniques on some of the, er, saints.”

That’s right: 36 years before he directed this latest incarnation of Deep Throat, Paul Thomas gave one to Mary Magdalene. In Israel. Deny that three times.

So, while I think having a Hasidic character bust out the Gospel of Matthew is as unfortunate as having Ozzy Osbourne t-shirts on sale at Ian Gillan-era Black Sabbath shows (and remember that Ian Gillan originated the title character’s role in “Jesus Christ Superstar”), that should not dissuade you from immediately watching Throat, because it’s a porn movie and it has sex in it.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Paul Thomas Superstar; Throat – A Cautionary Tale; Vivid at 25 – porn with a little reality; Sasha Grey – the end of innocence
See also: Vivid

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

1 Comment

  1. Oy, my gawd. This is some funny stuff. And I thought that the Jews ran the porn industry… or is that just Hollywood? Oh, right, forgot the wall separating the Valley from the South Bank!

    “Hoishel! Hoishel! Put down that scroll, bubbie!

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