Microsoft unveils "My First Porn Article" software

Redmond, WA (GP:PVO) — Software giant Microsoft today launched the Porn Article template for its Microsoft Word application.

The template contains all the elements standard to anyone’s first article about the porn industry, including the writer’s general skittishness, Paul Thomas, fist-shaking at the Internet, the word “dire,” blanket acceptance of a quote about how much money porn makes annually, Paul Fishbein, a reference to the AVN Awards as “the Oscars of Porn,” Steve Hirsch’s tan, the death of the DVD, and the cameraman’s ennui.

“This is the biggest template modification since we would Auto Complete with ‘troubled’ any sentence with the phrase ‘Britney Spears’ in it,” said a Microsoft spokesperson.

The template was beta-tested for several months with the help of the Symantec Corporation, which dispatched its Norton Anti-Virus team to quash an annoying and repetitive strain of the Margold Worm.

See the template in action in this article from London’s Financial Times.

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: My own first article about the porn industry (back then I had to use the ClarisWorks template); Monique Alexander gets a call from Santa
See also: Rude Awakening

About Gram the Man 4399 Articles
Gram Ponante is America's Beloved Porn Journalist

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