“Mike’s Apartment” is like “Hostel” but with more nudity and less murder

No homicides, Yes?

No homicides, Yes?


When we talk about High Concept Porn, we’re not talking about Milves or Women with Large Breasts. The “Mike’s Apartment” series satisfies our need for a reason for porn to be happening beyond the mere presence of knockers. Sort of.

mike21Studio: Reality Kings
Director: Some guy named JJ
Starring: Carmen Croft, Vicktoria Tiffany, Liza Del Sierra, Roxy Taggart, Mia Ferrara, Jessica Rox

One thing I wish pornographers would think about when creating series is that sometimes people will show up at episode four—like I did—needing some exposition.

And it doesn’t have to be like “Star Wars” episode four, either, just something more than “Babes That Need A Place to Stay” on the boxcover.

Because those of us not hip to the previous three iterations of the series might be confused about the following, which are not explained:

1. Who the fuck is Mike?
2. Who is JJ, the unseen cameraman and narrator, and what relation is he to Mike?
3. Why do the apartments change? Does Mike own all of them?

You might say, “Grams, you’ve overthinking it.” But I tell you that no matter how delightful the juicy Del Sierra, Carmen Croft, and Mia Ferrara are (and they are all kinds of delightful), viewers are still wondering about the above questions.

It’s so much easier to blow a load when there is nothing on your mind, don’t you agree?

According to http://www.mikesapartment.com/main.htm, the series is shot in Amsterdam, which explains the jolly Dutchness of JJ and the international cast, as well as the English signage in the hotel room.

We also learn much from the guests, such as the petite Russian Vicktoria Tiffany (“I come to my friend. She living in a college house”), who says that she doesn’t like her native St. Petersburg because it is filled with Turkish and Georgian men.

The various language barriers are also a teaching tool, as Czech Carmen Croft is put on the phone with a translator to engage in something we just assume she was contracted for already.

But the best scene is the final one, in which French Liza del Sierra plays in the snow outside and then runs upstairs for a lusty English-speaking hosedown.

At this point we don’t care who Mike is, just as long as he lends me his keys.

Buy “Mike’s Apartment 4” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: “Whores D’ouevre“; “Matinée”: Going Downstage on Alicia Whitsover
See also: realitykings

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