“Monique’s Lost Footage” recovering nicely

Studio: Vivid
Director: B. Skow
Starring: Monique Alexander, Gianna Lynn, Lily Lovely

Monique Alexander is the Puerto Rico of Vivid; no longer a contract girl but remaining somehow associated with the company that first made her fantastic nipples and fellatio skills a mass commodity. And now some “Lost Footage” has been unearthed!

To be clear: Monique Alexander is not Puerto Rican.

Still, the appearance of “Monique’s Lost Footage” would give the casual porn consumer the impression that Alexander is dead or gone to Shelly Lubben. In fact, Alexander is alive and well and appearing as a “Sporty Girl” with Elegant Angel and as Diane in a recent New Sensations “Cheers” parody.

And she is not Puerto Rican. She’s from Sacramento.

But the four scenes of “Monique’s Lost Footage,” also featuring Gianna Lynn and the aptly-named Lily Lovely, do have a second-class-citizen vibe to them – together they make up a movie that has no plot or coherence other than the fact that Alexander is in two of the scenes, and the movie is framed with a grainy film projector wraparound that suggests these otherwise-unrelated scenes were found in Vivid’s vaults deep below Universal City Nissan.

Was this really lost footage? And can Vivid really afford to let the world know that they are in the habit of “losing” essential documentation?

But who are we to ask such questions? Let us instead contemplate that perfect, taut surface that is Monique Alexander and hope that she doesn’t become Vivid’s Marshall Islands. Like Stafanie Morgan.

• Buy “Monique’s Lost Footage” here

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Bull & Finch Bait & Switch; Vivid goes interracial with Choco Tacos; Microsoft unveils “My First Porn Article” software
See also: Vivid