MontagFoto 4.23.12—Visible Jets

You are aware that whenever there is a bad porn parody, it only strengthens the argument that the porn parody trend has outlived its usefulness. But then a good parody will come along and we’ll all sheepishly put our guns away and toss our suicide notes in the garbage.

BUT THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A GOOD PORN SUPERHERO PARODY AND THERE NEVER WILL BE.

Observe the absolutely lovely Chanel Preston and the more than capable Rocco Reed and Evan Stone on the set of “Justice League of Superstar Heroes” or whatever it was called. God that was awful.

Put Preston in a rough-ridin’ biker chick’s outfit, and dress Reed and Stone as Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, and now we’re talking. Or she is an uncharacteristically-brunette milkmaid and they are ranch hands. Or she is Jesus Christ in America and they are Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. Or she is a Honolulu stripper and they are squeezing their plate-lunch guts into the same VIP room. Or she is Chanel Preston and they are Rocco Reed and Evan Stone.

Anything would be better—just no more superheroes.

Why accept porn stars as Seinfeld (not to say that I do) and not as Marvel or DC heroes? It’s because the recent round of Hollywood superhero movies (preceded by the graphic novel “The Dark Knight”) tacitly acknowledge they are carving adulthood out of childish things. I don’t think the suspension of disbelief survives the transition to porn

Previously on Porn Valley Observed: Hulk, Smear!; We don’t need another “Justice League of Pornstar Heroes”; “Superman XXX”: Andy San Dimas kneels before Zoe, Zod